Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Husband private pension?

19 replies

TurqoiseJasper · 07/01/2025 01:44

I'll be shortly starting divorce proceedings after ending a physically, emotionally, and financially abusive marriage of nearly 30 years.

I have suddenly had a thought that my husband could possibly have been paying into a private pension. I have absolutely no idea if this is so, is there a way to definitively find out?

Obviously I have no access to any of his financial details any longer, and didn't have much access before, use extremely secretive and financially abusive, would hide cash in the loft for example, or behind a picture frames, in the boot of the car.....
I wouldn't be surprised if he had been squirrelling money away somewhere but how would I find out?

OP posts:
GildedRage · 07/01/2025 02:42

typically you look at his paystub and see what deductions are taken off automatically.

you could look at his employers web site and see if they mention a pension scheme or fb retired employee's might mention.

coxesorangepippin · 07/01/2025 02:48

Ask your solicitor

It needs to be taken into account, as an asset

millymollymoomoo · 07/01/2025 07:14

He’ll be expected to do full financial disclosure.

however, if he’s self employed or paying a private one it might be easier to hide. In which case you’d need a forensic accountant to go over 30 years of accounts which would be costly.

what sort of money dues he earn and is he’s employed ?

Original poster
TurqoiseJasper · 08/01/2025 06:30

Well this is the issue. He's a manager/waiter and works for a dodgy restaurant owner, pay slips are/can be doctored. They're quite happy to give him a pay slip saying he's only worked one day when in fact he's actually worked six.

He claims he works part-time and claims benefits for the days he doesn't work (supposedly doesn't work) though he does actually. He's s a dishonest good for nothing.

He also gambles A LOT and has plenty of regular extra cash, has done for years. None of this I'm able to prove, (apart from the gambling, the idiot never changed his login to his gambling app) even though I have reported it to the relevant authority.
Loves to use cash for purchases probably because he's scared of being caught at something.

That's probably no way to ever actually know 😭 I just had the sudden realisation that maybe that's what he's been doing, paying into a pension with money that he has hidden from me over the years.

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · 08/01/2025 06:56

Then he and the restaurant are committing fraud and you should report to Hmrc and dwp because he’s also committing benefit fraud. You were happy to benefit from that while together …..

Original poster
TurqoiseJasper · 08/01/2025 07:32

millymollymoomoo · 08/01/2025 06:56

Then he and the restaurant are committing fraud and you should report to Hmrc and dwp because he’s also committing benefit fraud. You were happy to benefit from that while together …..

Excuse me? I was happy to what??? You've no idea what you're talking about, and yes I did report.
Thanks for your reply.

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · 08/01/2025 07:40

so You reported him for benefit fraud while married/together? And the restaurant?

what was the outcome ?

rwalker · 08/01/2025 07:48

As shit as it is sounds like your on a hiding to nothing
solicitors will tell you what you want to hear because at the end of the day u are paying them

you have to look on a practical level you can spend £1000’s chasing this will no guarantee of recovering any money

user243245346 · 08/01/2025 11:06

Given that he's a gambler who only officially worked one day a week (you need earnings from employment to pay into a pension) I think it's unlikely that he has a pension of any value. More likely he has gambled away any money.

There is no public register of pensions etc but his payslips would have to show deductions for an employer pension and Bank transfers for a private pension.

Hope you get it sorted.

Original poster
TurqoiseJasper · 09/01/2025 23:29

Will the relevant authorities be able to find any bank accounts he doesn't declare?
For example if he has to declare all his financial details, but omits a savings account, can that be found?
He really is slimy when it comes to money, and will do anything to keep it all to himself.

I'm talking about a man who wouldn't allow me to have my own personal bank account until I started claiming a disability benefit when I opened one of my own, and was absolutely livid because he thought it would be paid into the joint account 😅

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · 10/01/2025 07:55

what authorities are you referring?

if you think he’s got accounts he’s hiding you’ll need to unearth them
via a forensic accountant or via your solicitor

and this will cost you money

and if you actually did /do report him fir benefit fraud which you should he may have to pay monies back. But I expect you’ll be quite happy to continue not doing so as long as you can uncover a pension that’s he’s built up on the back of it

LemonTT · 10/01/2025 08:32

Given how messy and dodgy his work record is, there is close to zero chance of a work place pension.

Being a gambler and having a personal pension or savings plan are not compatible. He might have all sorts of bank accounts but whether there is anything in them is doubtful. Gamblers by definition don’t hold onto their winnings. They are always chasing the next win.

A forensic accountant is needed to chase down money. They can follow audit trails etc. However they are very expensive and what they do takes a lot of time. They can only follow paperwork and recorded transactions. Cash payments and movements are very difficult to follow without surveillance. That costs even more money. But it is very difficult to operate in cash at any meaningful level for an individual.

The HMRC and DWP probably concluded this wasn’t in the public interest to launch an in depth investigation. They won’t do anything more because you are divorcing him. Anyway if they found money they would fine him and take back the money owed. So you won’t be better off

Original poster
TurqoiseJasper · 10/01/2025 21:32

millymollymoomoo · 10/01/2025 07:55

what authorities are you referring?

if you think he’s got accounts he’s hiding you’ll need to unearth them
via a forensic accountant or via your solicitor

and this will cost you money

and if you actually did /do report him fir benefit fraud which you should he may have to pay monies back. But I expect you’ll be quite happy to continue not doing so as long as you can uncover a pension that’s he’s built up on the back of it

I know it's a free for all here, but I really don't like your accusatory tone considering you don't know me nor my situation, so stop with it please.

OP posts:
Original poster
TurqoiseJasper · 10/01/2025 21:37

Thanks for the replies... I think some of you may have misunderstood my motives.
I would like for him to get his comeuppance. Karma,maybe facilitated by me
Thank you for the input nonetheless.

OP posts:
lightsandtunnels · 10/01/2025 21:53

Get a good divorce solicitor. They are expensive though! A court will force your ex to disclose all of his earnings. If he refuses to do this or lies (and gets found out) he could end up being heavily fined or jailed. But if he has assets that are well and truly hidden and has a paper trail of being on benefits etc then of course it's going to be very difficult to prove that he has money. A solicitor is your first stop really OP.

LemonTT · 10/01/2025 22:50

TurqoiseJasper · 10/01/2025 21:37

Thanks for the replies... I think some of you may have misunderstood my motives.
I would like for him to get his comeuppance. Karma,maybe facilitated by me
Thank you for the input nonetheless.

I pretty much concluded that was what you wanted but it would cost you money as a minimum. Forget about his future, that is a sign you are still caught in his fucked up mess of a life. Think about your own future, where you are free from him, mentally and physically.

More seriously poking bears isn’t a good idea. It could lead to him wanting to retaliate if you make trouble for him.

Owwwwwww · 10/01/2025 22:57

I think you will just cause yourself years of stress and bitterness not to mention expense if you pursue this. I can understand why you want him to get his comeuppance but you would do better to focus on building your new life without him.
Best of luck

millymollymoomoo · 11/01/2025 08:34

people can comment on here with things you don’t like. That’s how it works.
and yes people can judge too

Magmum75 · 11/01/2025 19:39

The picture you are painting of him doesn't give any vibes of being a saver, let alone putting into a pension. I'd be more concerned about secret debts.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page