First ever post having read so many threads on here about the decision to stay or go. Apologies in advance for the long post.
Married for 13 years, 2 kids aged 14 and 11. Been unhappy for about 10 with absolutely no physical or emotional intimacy. It's like having another child in the house. We both work full time but I take care of all household stuff including finances and kids organisation. He is good with the kids but nothing else really, nor shows any interest in being a responsible adult.
We've had several conversations over the years with him saying he will make an effort but hasn't or him sinking into a depression and on pills and therefore conversations get put on the back burner.
I'm sure many people live like this until the kids leave home then separate. But having just turned 50 and starting to think both of us deserve something more I am seriously considering asking for divorce. Obviously I am super anxious about the impact on the kids and the inevitable financial hardship. But I often feel like I could just burst with simmering resentment and sadness that this is my life. I know it's not healthy to keep all this bottled up. We are both really bad at communicating but I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual based on his coldness and behaviour towards me.
My parents stayed together when they shouldn't (for the sake of us apparently) and I don't want to set such a bad example of what a loving relationship should look like to my children.
I suppose I am asking for advice from those that have left and regretted it - or not. And those that have stayed for the sake of the kids and whether you have been able to make it work on some level.
Thanks for reading and taking the time to reply