Still in same flat, struggling today, just want to leave

[Timeline]

My ex is going to buy me out of the flat and I’m struggling still being here with him. Since I broke up with him he has changed and become less controlling but still it slips out occasionally. After 13 years together I know that I made the right decision to leave and I will be happier being single. It’s just hard when I don’t have my own space and this flat just feels like his. I provided so much for it and he always takes things that I did for granted. I know that my feelings are valid and I deserve to be treated with gentle kindness and respect, and to love truly… this relationship wasn’t built on those foundations and I was very young when it started (he wasn’t, and was in a position of authority and shouldn’t have done anything with me).

Sorry for ranting. I need strength! I also need my own home. Planning to move to a much smaller flat. At least it will be mine though.

This is always going to be the case whilst you continue to live together. It’s going to take some time to organise the buy out. But not that much time. Has he applied for a mortgage etc and do you have a timeline?

sometimes posters on here lament their situation re living together after having split. But they aren’t really doing anything about it or are dragging things out for no real benefit.

If you aren’t married then the only connection is joint ownership of the property and its contents. If he is buying you out then you need assurance this is in hand. You jointly need a plan on how agree on what you individually own and what is jointly owned. Then a way to divide it up.

Have you a timeline in place so you can count down the days?