What happens if court forces us to sell the house?

Jeany1967 · 2025-01-04T16:49:55+00:00

Going through a divorce with our final financial hearing due in March. Ex has the money to buy me out and pay off the existing mortgage with money lent to him by his family and he's always planned to stay in the house. I moved out almost 2 years ago, rented my own place and he's stayed in the family home. He has offered me a settlement which is less than what I think is fair (not by loads) but he is saying he can't afford any more but I know he can (his family has already deposited the money in his bank and it's been in there for a year). I think the courts might force us to sell the house if he maintains he can't afford any more but I am in quite a bit of debt (forced into more by him when he refused to pay the mortgage for 4 months so I had to as well as my own rent). I just don't think I can go on much longer without the equity from the house to stay afloat. I know house sales can take as long as a year. Can anyone tell me what happens in this instance please? If in the final financial hearing the judge orders a sale of the house will he/she also tell us the percentage we get once the house is sold or will we have to have another hearing once it's sold? If it's the final hearing is it really the final one? Many thanks

ShinyShona · 04/01/2025 17:44

It is the final hearing, if the two of you cannot agree a fair split they will do it for you and they will order a sale if it is the only way to do it fairly.

He will probably get around 6 months to a year to get your share to you but having vast sums in his bank account might result in that money being used to partly pay you off in the interim.

millymollymoomoo · 04/01/2025 18:18

What do you think you are due vs what has he offered?

a court will ultimately award a % if you cannot agree
then you’d need to sell and price is not guaranteed ( especially in this market) and could take a long time to complete

you wouldn’t get your share until it did

so you may be better off taking his offer but that will depend on the answer to first question

Original poster

Jeany1967 · 04/01/2025 19:02

millymollymoomoo · 04/01/2025 18:18

What do you think you are due vs what has he offered?

a court will ultimately award a % if you cannot agree
then you’d need to sell and price is not guaranteed ( especially in this market) and could take a long time to complete

you wouldn’t get your share until it did

so you may be better off taking his offer but that will depend on the answer to first question

Edited

I think I am due at least £10-£15k more than what he is offering but will need to pay for a barrister for the final hearing so take that off. His mortgage capacity is much higher than mine as well but I don't know if that's taken into it.

I have told him that I will accept his offer in the last two weeks but he is now saying that he won't pay a penny towards a consent order and I can't force him into having one because he doesn't think we need one. I know 100% we need one!!!!

What happens if I do a consent order through a solicitor (which will be more money) to try and settle before court and then he either doesn't accept it or doesn't supply his info for the form 81 (I think it is). I'm just wary of spending more money to try and sort this out of court for him to just drag his heels. Whatever I do to try and get this sorted he backtracks and does the opposite which is why I'm thinking that we need to go to court and do it properly.

That's why I was just wondering about the house selling. If he has all this money in the bank to buy me out and pay off the existing mortgage (and he was the one who has put me into further debt) will the court maybe order him to pay me half before the house is sold so I can pay off my debts?

If this is the final hearing will the court order a percentage in the hearing and it will just go through once the house is sold?

OP posts:

ShinyShona · 04/01/2025 19:40

It's not worth your while going to court for the money but it is worth it for the consent order. The threat of court will probably be enough but it needs to be a real threat so maybe file Form A with the court yourself? He can either back down and sign a consent order or put himself in a position where he is forced to sell.

Original poster

Jeany1967 · 04/01/2025 20:16

ShinyShona · 04/01/2025 19:40

It's not worth your while going to court for the money but it is worth it for the consent order. The threat of court will probably be enough but it needs to be a real threat so maybe file Form A with the court yourself? He can either back down and sign a consent order or put himself in a position where he is forced to sell.

I've already filed a form A over a year ago and this is is our 3rd financial (supposedly last) hearing. To apply for a consent order ourselves now can take up to 2 months apparently and we're due in court early March anyway.

OP posts:

ShinyShona · 04/01/2025 21:40

Jeany1967 · 04/01/2025 20:16

I've already filed a form A over a year ago and this is is our 3rd financial (supposedly last) hearing. To apply for a consent order ourselves now can take up to 2 months apparently and we're due in court early March anyway.

Show quote history

Oh sorry, my mistake, you did say in your first post. Well, technically you don't need a consent order if you have a final hearing as of course it will be decided by a judge rather than by consent. I think the likely outcome will be that the cash in his account will be split pending sale of the house if it gets that far.

LemonTT · 04/01/2025 21:54

Has the cash in his account been declared as an asset.

Do you need a barrister. Has the judge given any indication of what he thinks is the appropriate split. If so he or she isn’t expecting a lot of toss arguing at the final hearing.

millymollymoomoo · 04/01/2025 22:23

It’s not really an asset though if it’s a loan given by parents to pay off the mortgage / buy op out

Original poster

Jeany1967 · 04/01/2025 23:51

LemonTT · 04/01/2025 21:54

Has the cash in his account been declared as an asset.

Do you need a barrister. Has the judge given any indication of what he thinks is the appropriate split. If so he or she isn’t expecting a lot of toss arguing at the final hearing.

The cash in his account hasn't been declared as an asset, more so a soft loan from family which he has to pay back at a small cost each month. They have lent him enough to buy me out, pay off the existing mortgage, plus extra. It's been sitting in his account for a year.

I will need a barrister. In the last hearing the judge went to town on him because of his shocking behaviour and I'm hoping (if we get to the final hearing) that I can have the same barrister as she knows the whole story.

Last judge said that I (if he buys me out) shouldn't be contributing to the cost of sale because it's not being sold. Our pensions are similar and the only thing we really have is the house. They didn't really say what appropriate split would be because I had to go into a lot of debt paying his mortgage when he refused to a few months back. At the last hearing my barrister said if we get to the final hearing we'd be asking for at least half of that back as well.

I just need a consent order and I'm worried that if I don't push through and do it through the court this will be going on forever.

OP posts:

Nat6999 · 05/01/2025 00:15

If you don't have a consent order you aren't financially divorced, he can come back at any time for more money, stick to your guns, I wouldn't think the divorce would be finalised without it.

Original poster

Jeany1967 · 05/01/2025 11:25

Nat6999 · 05/01/2025 00:15

If you don't have a consent order you aren't financially divorced, he can come back at any time for more money, stick to your guns, I wouldn't think the divorce would be finalised without it.

It will be a lot easier for me to agree out of court and I would be doing this if he wasn't now playing silly games and would sign a consent order. The fact that he is being a pain two months before the final court hearing is making me think I just need to stick to my guns and get the court to decide and then we'll be financially divorced once and for all.

OP posts:

RandomMess · 05/01/2025 11:32

I think he's such an ass you need to go to court and ask for MORE with a shit hot barrister.

He's a bully, the more you concede the more he bullies you to concede further.

The house will be ordered to be sold or he can pay you more.

lljkk · 05/01/2025 11:45

I thought going to court for these decisions cost both sides each 20£k, minimum. OP is literally arguing over 15k£ max. False economy not to just take his existing offer ?

RandomMess · 05/01/2025 11:51

Op should be asking to be awarded full costs for both parties due to all the evidence of him frustrating settlement and not complying with the court process.

ShinyShona · 05/01/2025 17:13

lljkk · 05/01/2025 11:45

I thought going to court for these decisions cost both sides each 20£k, minimum. OP is literally arguing over 15k£ max. False economy not to just take his existing offer ?

It's a lot cheaper as a litigant in person but still a better idea to settle out of court.

Original poster

Jeany1967 · 06/01/2025 22:11

RandomMess · 05/01/2025 11:32

I think he's such an ass you need to go to court and ask for MORE with a shit hot barrister.

He's a bully, the more you concede the more he bullies you to concede further.

The house will be ordered to be sold or he can pay you more.

He is a bully but the worrying thing is is that even though the judge laid into him and his awful behaviour in the last court hearing he thinks he's fully justified in what he does/has done. It's frightening.

OP posts:

Original poster

Jeany1967 · 06/01/2025 22:15

RandomMess · 05/01/2025 11:51

Op should be asking to be awarded full costs for both parties due to all the evidence of him frustrating settlement and not complying with the court process.

He's been frustrating and delaying everything since day one. Mediation was a complete waste of time and money but we had to do it before I could apply for court.

It's been a long, hard road and I'm almost there. I just wish we could settle ourselves but it's just not going to happen.

OP posts:

Sheepsheeps · 06/01/2025 22:29

Absolutely gorgeous to court and get it settled once and for all. In my experience, if you settle out of court, he can agree to everything right up until the 11th hour and change his mind again, thus delaying things further, costing you more money, more stress and you'll lose your current place in court.
Also, your Barrister should point out that any form of inheritance/gifted money etc to him by his family is still classed as a marital asset until a financial order is signed and sealed. If he has wealthy parents and a substantial inheritance likely to come his way then you can ask for that to be considered in the final order too.
You could ask the judge to consider your current dire financial situation and ask for help immediately from the money he has stashed away in his account. My experience is though that you will have to provide evidence of your financial situation before court i.e. credit card statements, bank statements etc demonstrating that you're living in debt because of him. The judge should look at making sure each party can be housed and if there is sufficient assets and you must declare to the court in PLENTY of time that you want his additional assets taken into consideration before the first al hearing. Don't let him get wind of this before hand though in case he gives it back suddenly to his family to disperse his assets.... be smart!
Absolutely stick to your guns, swallow the legal fees and it'll all be sorted in the next couple of months which will allow you to move on with your life and know exactly where you are financially at the end of it.
Best of luck to you xx

Sheepsheeps · 06/01/2025 22:30

Go to not gorgeous 🤦‍♀️

Original poster

Jeany1967 · 07/01/2025 22:53

Sheepsheeps · 06/01/2025 22:29

Absolutely gorgeous to court and get it settled once and for all. In my experience, if you settle out of court, he can agree to everything right up until the 11th hour and change his mind again, thus delaying things further, costing you more money, more stress and you'll lose your current place in court.
Also, your Barrister should point out that any form of inheritance/gifted money etc to him by his family is still classed as a marital asset until a financial order is signed and sealed. If he has wealthy parents and a substantial inheritance likely to come his way then you can ask for that to be considered in the final order too.
You could ask the judge to consider your current dire financial situation and ask for help immediately from the money he has stashed away in his account. My experience is though that you will have to provide evidence of your financial situation before court i.e. credit card statements, bank statements etc demonstrating that you're living in debt because of him. The judge should look at making sure each party can be housed and if there is sufficient assets and you must declare to the court in PLENTY of time that you want his additional assets taken into consideration before the first al hearing. Don't let him get wind of this before hand though in case he gives it back suddenly to his family to disperse his assets.... be smart!
Absolutely stick to your guns, swallow the legal fees and it'll all be sorted in the next couple of months which will allow you to move on with your life and know exactly where you are financially at the end of it.
Best of luck to you xx

Thank you so much for your helpful reply.

It's almost as if he enjoys the ongoing link we still have so is reluctant to agree to a clean break which will end the financial side of things once and for all. I of course know this is essential (especially with someone like him) so I am planning on going to court.

I am in such a dire financial situation (mostly because of him) that I'm hoping if the judge does order a sale I'm able to at least pay off my debts with some of the money he's received to buy me out.

Thank you again :-)

OP posts:

Embattledfather · 12/03/2025 22:12

Can anyone help or explain what they did in the following experience?

I’ve been divorced now for 5 yrs following my ex-wife’s series of affairs and decided enough was enough. As a result, I retained, and continued paying for the matrimonial home with no contribution from her. In Oct ‘23, we went through the court to agree the financial order in a court hearing and the time, I wasn’t in a position to purchase my ex-wife’s share of the property and was ordered to sell the home on the market, which I did.

In May/June ‘24, my position changed and I applied to purchase her share of the property which she said she would think about. After a period of time, she initially refused on the basis that she said my offer wasn’t genuine and I then decided to send a formal request from my then solicitor.

In late November ‘24, she presented me with the option to purchase her share of the property and that I had to confirm that I was indeed in a position to buy it from her at an agreed price. I responded within the 7 day time frame she gave me using her existing email address. In early Jan ‘25, whilst the purchase was going through, I was then ordered to return to court not fully aware of the reason for it as I was under the impression that I was indeed purchasing her share.

With limited funds, I was not represented by any legal council and as a result of her lying to the court, she advised them that she hadn’t received any confirmation from me that I intended to purchase her share (even though I presented evidence to show otherwise), the court took her side and ordered me out of the house within 28 days.

Following the courts orders, I’ve now left the property within the timescale but have seen that she’s since changed all the locks in the house, with no key been given and also refuses to cover any of the continued Mortgage costs.

There’s also other impacts to our children that she’s again trying to separate me from equally.

What can I do and has anyone ever experienced such a devastating ordeal similar to this situation??