Potential Equity split

[Buscake]

Married for 16years, together for 23
3 children, two with SEND
Physical and emotional abuse to 2 of the children, domestic violence under every category to me.
non-mol in place and two eldest children do not want contact again (youngest has complex needs)
I was a SAHM for 7 years - we had 3 under 4. I now work FT and earn £40k. He earns about £70k from salaried job plus up to another £20k in additional income

approx £525k equity in the house. Not sure how much his pension would be worth but approx 14yrs NHS pension. No savings.

with child maintenance, DLA and universal credit I can afford the mortgage, bills everything quite comfortably. The issue is the equity split. I know it starts from 50/50 but I will be sole carer to the children until they are grown (aged 14,12,10) and he will not need accommodation for them in looking at a flat because even if things change and he is allowed access this will only be supervised and not overnight due to past abuse. I have a solicitor but she is reluctant to quantify anything until we do the financial bit. How much equity can I realistically expect to hang onto do you think? Kids all require their own rooms due to their SEN. Such a minefield trying to forward plan.

Will depend a lot on the pension valuation , without it is impossible to say.

but it’s not right you think he only gets enough to get a 1 bed flat while you get lions share and keep the house

you’ll be looking at near overall 50:50 of total
assets but not necessarily 50:50 of each one - eg you could trade possibly pension for equity

he’s not a high earner especially as bonus is not guaranteed

if you’re the same poster as the other thread about this ( different user name) no mention of abuse or supervised access on there ….

I spoke with a solicitor and the fact he cannot currently have the kids and you are the sole parent of 2 SEND children I think you’d be looking at a minimum 70/30 split in your favour. Also I’d assume he’s got a decent pension for you to split too.

No I haven’t posted twice ?

I agree re pensions it’s frustrating not having that info. The other income is from consultancy etc, so not a bonus just not salaried income. My understanding is that this should still count as income though!

re 1 bed flat vs house: I thought it was about thr needs of the children to be suitably accommodated. So I will need rooms for them, he will not because he is not allowed them.

@Daffy25 thanks for replying. I think this is what I am hoping for, but I know it’s going to be a bumpy ride. Wish I had pension evaluation! I’m guessing around 150-200k but that is a guess. He most definitely doesn’t want me to get any of his pension or his various business streams outside his salary, but that will all come out in the negotiations.

We bought the house when married:
£15k from him
£275k from me over time
rest of equity comes from previous house sale and house price increases/paying mortgage for last 14years.

14 years nhs pension won't be that high, final salary pension values are not great, just gone through this.

Unfortunately the reason for splitting is not taken into account when considering financials. The main thing is total assets then a split is settled upon. Can you raise anything mortgage wise to offer as a settlement? They are unlikely to award enough to cover all the house

I think I could do a £250k mortgage - £120k for house and then £130k to him. But doubt this will be sufficient percentage wise. Frustrating when I look at the sums I invested in it compared to him, but what was mine was his … and now what is his is his!

Your thread is 99% identical to another hence why I commented

it sounds complicated so you’ll need your solicitor to advise. Why can’t they ? You’ll need to get a pensions valuation before you can come up with a proposal.

housing of children is a priority but this needs to be balanced with overall fairness. But based on the limited info here you probably stand a chance of higher share of the equity - but this would likely be offset from pension.

And if you were able to get 75% of equity you’d likely see little pension ( depending on its valuation)

which might be ok outcome for yiu

With the children being SEN and him having zero overnights, you have an argument for you staying in the house.

You also have an argument for unmatched contributions, although this may be weak.

My ex built up a £120k pension over 10 years as a uni lecturer just as a point of reference. That was the CETV valuation, although the pensions actuary valued it higher. Worth getting an actuary report looking at the true CETV and also the cash equivalent, ie what you’d be trading against house equity.

You want a 4-bed house and him to have a flat? I suspect if he disagrees, you'll make a couple of solicitors lots of money and end up with not a lot left.

And at the age of the children if you both drag this out, they’ll be at the stage of not being considered/less impact.

so he might offer keeping the house to the youngest is 16 then a split and sell scenario.
depends on level of sen as well.

@UncharteredWaters im seeking a clean break order. My youngest has complex needs, attends a specialist setting and is v vulnerable. I would hope he may be able to live independently from me with the right support when he is older but this remains to be seen.

I have family money to finance solicitors which he doesn’t, so that won’t come out of the ‘pot’ and does give me a sliver of an advantage in this :(