Is this fraud?

[AngelicaDeverell]

Is it fraud if Ex-H has claimed our children’s free school meal vouchers (awarded during holidays as equivalent of the free school lunches) even though he isn’t caring for them over the Christmas break?

We were both emailed a code for them. You have to then visit a link and input the code in order to claim the money.

So he had to actively take a couple of steps in order to do it, it’s not like the money was just sent to him.

Anyway I’m upset that he’s taken this money for himself. As I said, they are with me for the entirety of the holidays (bar 2 days over Xmas itself) and I’m covering all the costs. That money was intended to cover the costs of groceries for them.

I have challenged him about it but he’s just ignored me. Am I right in thinking that this is actually fraud on his part?

If it seems like an overreaction from me it’s probably because he’s done things like steal our eldest’s birthday money last year and never paid it back and also he wouldn’t contribute anything for birthday parties or towards our eldest’s autism support groups.

Various occasions where he’s been selfish and dishonest and shameless about it. On its own I know it’s not a major deal but when added to all the other things he’s done it just makes me sick and angry.

Frauds a bit strong but it's definitely wrong. Why did you not claim it?

I have ADHD and it takes me a while to get around to admin type things especially if there’s a lot of other stuff going on like Xmas etc. The vouchers were claimable up to June 2025 so I assumed that if I did it this week it would be ok.

You know for next time to prioritise claiming them regardless of who is supposed to be having them.

I would be questioning why both of you were emailed the vouchers. I'm assuming the school puts you forward to the relevant charity(?) so I think you need to approach the school first to find out what happens in an acrimonious split.

I would also mention that the children did not receive the help they were entitled to so it really does need an intervention.

Jesus what sort of loser nicks his own kids lunch money😂 I've heard it all now.

Change all the the passwords.

With regard to your ADHD, you're either going to have to just accept the fact that the ADHD means you don't get round to doing stuff OR you can work on it and try really really hard to get stuff done.

I'm assuming the kids were fed? regardless of him getting the money?

We both have parental responsibility.

The vouchers are issued by our local county council, not a charity. I’m presuming that they would always send a link to both parents, given that childcare arrangements can vary during school holidays.

I think I will have to say something because this is a misuse of them. As I said, he had to go out of his way to claim that money. It’s not like he did it accidentally.

I know. It’s such a scummy thing to do. And he has no shame about it.

Yeah the kids are being fed. But I’m on a very low income and this would have made a difference.

The main thing is, it’s not pocket money for the adults. It’s meant to be spent on the kids and that’s what sickens me about it.

I realise now that I’ll have to activate those vouchers the second I see the email in future and hope that he hasn’t still managed to get in there first.

Honestly, report him. And tell him he's sunk to a new low, if he's reduced to stealing his own kids lunch money.

I'm guessing he's got a habit?

Report to who? The police won't do anything if they are his kids and the email was sent to him

Yeah he does have a habit 🙄

I’d “update” the county council with a “new” email for him so he doesn’t get them anymore.

The vouchers are issued by our local county council, not a charity.

Thats why I put a question mark as I didn't know who issued them. Contact the county council and tell them the children didn't receive the vouchers and ask how this sort of thing can be prevented next time. I'm sure this will have come up before with them regarding separated parents.