Opinions needed on what a judge may decide, not sure if believe solicitor

[Needreassuranceandsupport]

I want to separate ASAP, been wanting to for years but too scared as at the time I was a sahm with no money of my own, (him a high earner) and i didn't want to spend time apart from my children (also just to add, he can be a very spiteful person and i know he would want to make my life difficult and not make it an easy process so just bare this in mind)
My kids are teens now and I work full time so feel like I'm in a better position to do it.
We have a complex situation though.
House: i own 80% from inheritance money, husband owns 20%. This is on the deeds and a declaration of trust AFTER we married 10 years ago. Not sure how sound this is.
He climbed the career ladder, I was the stay at home parent for 8 years.
3 years ago husband had a full mental breakdown and had to stop working, I was his full time carer , he was completely non functioning. It almost broke me.
We managed for the first year whilst he was on full pay, then it was dropped to half pay. We have been extremely lucky that his workplace has insurance for this.
We couldn't manage financially on his 50% plus his high rate PIP he qualified for so I went back to work full time.
This is how we still are now 2 years later and he has no intention of ever going back to work (that's another story in itself)

I pay for everything at his insistence (bank statements to prove) and he saves all of his money for our savings but it is only in his name and i have no access to it. He uses this to make big family purchases such as a holiday or washing machine .

I was always the primary carer for the kids, but now I work and he does the school runs and cooks tea so I think this now makes him the primary carer.

My huge fear is that a judge would say that due to his illness and that he's not working, he could either stay in the house or get a larger %. I am not willing to risk this happening as it would cause huge family fall out on my side.
I've seen two solicitors who reassured me that it would be 50/50 worst case scenario but I'm just so worried he could manipulate the situation to take the house and a higher % custody of the kids. If this happened, my life would be over. I know that sounds dramatic but I have stayed in this terrible marriage so that the kids were financially provided for and I have sacrificed my own happiness and mental health for this. Every day is hell for me and I'm so scared to take the next step.
Has anyone been through similar who could tell me their outcome?

Are you tenants in common?

You said husband so I assume you are married and that you live in England.

There are reasons why he could overturn the deed of trust. Mainly his inability to work. If he qualifies for PIP you struggle to refute this. Whilst the deed of trust has weight, marriage and divorce laws can negate the intention. Meeting needs will probably trump the deed.

The solicitors are probably saying that 50% of assets will suffice to meet needs. But they won’t really know until full disclosure has happened and his lawyers start putting forward their asks and arguments. Going in front of judge is always a roll of the dice. The judge will only look at the legal facts if the case (not what you or your family think is important).

Your children are teens. The concept of primary carer and that making a difference to a settlement is irrelevant. You will both get a share of assets to meet your needs as a parent. Whether you have 50:50 or 70:30 co parenting, you still need a home. If he can’t work he will need more capital because he won’t be able to borrow.

It will be up to your children how much time they spend with either of you. It’s your decision not to live together. But as teens it’s their decision on where and how they live.

Yes that's my worry, his inability to work has now trapped me in this situation as he won't qualify for anything.
As the house is owned outright and we live in a cheap area, luckily if we split it 50/50 we can both afford to buy a small 3 bed semi each outright so I'm hoping this will suffice?
We actually don't have much of anything else. I have no pension as only just started working. I earn minimum wage so not flush at all.
Husband has a work pension but only started it about 10 years ago if that, so hardly anything in that either.
The savings that we have will only be enough to cover the legal fees of divorcing and moving house and then all that will be gone. I'm hoping that will simplify things

If 50:50 will meet both your needs that’s likely to be the outcome.

he’ll be expected to work, seek support to fo do re his MH, or be on benefits.

it’s unlikely you’ll be required to pay spousal although potentially he might try to seek slightly higher share of assets.

I couldn't afford to pay any spousal payments and if he took any more than 50% of the house then I wouldn't be able to afford anywhere either. I also don't think I'd qualify for a mortgage as my earnings are too low . I would be going on to UC as a top up (i work in a school)

I just don't know what to do as my family would be absolutely debated that he would be taking so much of my inheritance money away but that's the legalities of marriage I suppose
My dad seems to think that he is above the law and could just pay husband off his 20% , but that would mean husband couldn't afford to get anywhere

He does have help for his MH and there should be an end goal of recover but in his mind this is a permanent thing that he can use to his advantage ( he is recovered now)

He will be expected to get a job and claim job seekers equivalent.

If he is recovered now is he not committing benefit fraud? Report him for that anonymously.

I would bet he has more savings than those you know about... The dc will get to decide who they want to live with as teens.... He won't get to call all the shots op.

It's often better to write an agreement yourself and ask the court to stamp it. Few solicitors give anything but the 'safest' advice, which frequently doesn't reflect the real merits and equity of a situation.

When I divorced the judge held to the deed of trust my ex shared with family, which meant I hardly got anything.

They also looked at income (they counted pip as income, which you're not supposed to) and then looked at who would afford what, housing wise.

If you could sell up and go your separate ways on a 350k property apiece then that might be the outcome, but they do look at what you need bedroom wise. My ex convinced the judge he'd get 50:50 so needed 3 bedrooms, which made a difference to the financial remedy. In reality the ex lives alone and DC never stay over, so could have easily had a 2 bedrooms place, but it's too late now.

This is awful! Was this a final hearing and were you represented at the hearing?

Yes, I paid £5k to be represented in the final hearing that day.

I still can't believe the 'justice' system did this. But then, a few weeks later I saw his solicitor and the judge walking and chatting merrily heading through a pub door, and it all made a bit more sense.

I am certain you won't be asked to pay spousal maintenance if you're on minimum wage. It's very rarely granted now and even then only from spouses with a high income.

If you’re in England try asking David Terry. Retired now but his forum interesting:
terry.uk/phorum/list.php?2