Ex wants to buy me out but will only pay mid point between valuation and initial purchase cost

[Timeline]

Hi

My ex thinks that estate agents inflate prices. I got a valuation today and my ex wants to take a half way point between what we paid for our flat and what valuation is. The valuation was worked out by looking at sales prices of comparable flats in the area.

Also, my dad has done renovations for free on the flat and my ex would be benefitting from this, and not taking any of that increase in value into consideration.

My ex thinks he is being reasonable and acts like what he is saying is completely normal. The problem is that I feel gaslit. This has been happening for years. He will somehow make it seem reasonable for me to bend over backwards for him and his needs and I realised this and broke up with him.

I’m going to take the valuation report to someone who can give me proper financial advice. Not sure who yet but I was going to phone a helpline.

He didn’t protect his larger deposit.

Thank you for your congratulations. This is just confirming why I made the decision I did.

As many others have said, get a surveyor valuation not estate agent, work out equity, both take deposits back , take cost of survey and legal costs to transfer to his sole name, then divide rest equally, you will have 18k less than him whatever the values.

I would tell him that if he doesn’t agree a fair 50% of equity (plus his extra deposit) you will go to court to get permission to sell the flat.

Which will end up a lot more expensive and a lot less convenient for him.

He’s offered you £22k in total? But that’s not even your deposit, how does that work?

Whilst this would seem like a family law issue, it would actually be civil litigation proceedings. Your best bet is to find a law firm with both family and civil litigation departments. Check the Law Society website for Panel members in your area or the Resolution website for accredited specialists.

Having said that, there doesn’t need to be any court order to get this done as there can’t be a “clean break”. Using a mediator is the cheapest option. You don’t want to lose any benefit you might gain in terms of increased equity by paying expensive legal fees.

As there is no document protecting the deposits, the hard faced starting point would be 50/50.

I am wondering if he’s offering you 22K as that’s all he can increase the mortgage by. It’s tough for him, but if he can’t raise more than that the house will need to be sold.

Don’t waste money on legal fees. Either he buys you out for £59k the flat goes on the market and you take 50% of the equity. Take it or leave it.

Tell him ‘nice try - and fuck off’ He gives you the 60 plus 1/2 of any costs! Don’t listen to his nonsense.

As others have said get 3 valuations - you go with the middle value nothing less. If not you sell the flat and get whatever you are entitled to that way. My exH tried this years ago - I got a solicitor involved in the end.

He’s taking the piss. He owes you 50% of market price and possibly a small deduction for banking fees to change ownership from both of you to just him. I bet he wouldn’t accept £22k to move out.

Except - he's not planning to buy you out. He's planning to cheat you out of your share.

I would not accept his offer, and insist on the flat being put on the open market.

As you own it seems as joint tenants not tenants in common with unequal
shares legally you’re entitled to 50% of equity irrespective that he paid higher share of deposit. You can of course agree otherwise but legally it’s 50% of equity.

Put it on the open market OP

Don't offer to take 18k off your 60k (giving you 42k). Take the 18k off the whole equity of 120k, then halve it, that's what you are owed (51k).

Make an offer that you are comfortable with, give him a certain amount of time to agree to it and to agree to a date when he will have finances in place, otherwise you will be putting the property up for sale. Tell him you are willing to go to court over this, and will be going for half of the equity not half after his 18k excess deposit has been taken off. Point out that it's well worth your while doing this as it will still be way higher than his current offer even after costs.

Start at 50/50 if he did not ring fence his original deposit. His starting point is “what’s best first me” and yours should be the same. If the situations were reversed you can be sure he would still be proposing a split that disadvantaged you based on a completely different theory.

Just insist in selling the flat and dividing the proceeds 50/50 (this takes into account your father’s contribution of sweat equity). If he wants to “buy you out” he needs to pay you extra for the opportunity cost this imposes on you and the benefit that accrues to him, as well. So either sell the flat outright or insist that all saved costs in the direct sale to him (saved fees if any) gobto you as well as the cost of moving out since he saves that by forcing you out.

The advice on this thread is what you should be listening to. He is trying to scam you because he can't afford to pay you what you are owed. That's not your problem the property will have to be sold then. Do not let him swindle you out of your money

Jeezo - who can buy half a £230k house for £22k? Is he thick or does he think you are?

Hard “no”!

<snort> well he’s going to be in for a shock then

get 3 valuations and put it on the market and tell him he’ll get half the proceeds minus any deposits etc

don’t even lose a breath over this.

Get 3 valuations and go for the mid one.

Your ex can think what he wants about estate agents but it doesn't make it right. He's trying to fiddle you out of what's right.

My ex thought the house was worth more than it was when I was buying him out. The solicitors said to get 3 valuations and go for the middle one.

As for your deposit it should be paid to you as a % of the purchase price.

Tbh he's right. Estate agent talks shit. U need to get out the actual person the bank sends out - surveyor. Then you go with this price

Ask him to get 3 surveyors' impartial valuation first and pay for them himself -
they used to be over £1000 each.

Don't get solicitors involved as it will just each into your equity.

Try mediation as much cheaper. However formalise the offer to him.

3 Valuations, less each deposit then 50/50 on remaining equity (you could use the work your dad did for additional leverage)

Tell him you want to sell the house then. He is scamming you.

I would not mention the unequal deposits in any written format with him as he's clearly trying to scam you. If your starting point is 50/50 but he gets his deposit back in full first, you will be helping him to scam you. All the posters saying this is the starting point for negotiations are commenting on their moral viewpoint as this is definitely not the legal position. Look at the jobs your dad has done for you and get some costs together. If it's a bit of painting and decorating, it doesn't add any significant value as it comes down to personal taste. If it's a new kitchen or bathroom, or landscaping the garden, get some quotes together. If you try to negotiate fairly with a scammer or abuser, you will be taken advantage of. I would start be responding to the 22% offer by saying 'I will be taking my 50% share of the equity so let's get the house on the market ASAP'. This joker needs a wake up call.

I had originally said get 3 estate agent valuations and average them out, but actually I think PPs are right and you should pay for a valuation survey. Get some quotes for it, suggest going halves with him on the cost, see if he would prefer to pay half the cost of a valuation survey or just go with estate agent valuations.

You've said the valuation was £230k and the outstanding mortgage is £110k - are there any early repayment fees? If so you'll need to factor those in. Also factor in the cost of a conveyancing solicitor to take care of the transfer of legal ownership and funds. Again you should get some quotes for this.

I think you have overestimated the equity, and you won't know an actual figure until you've confirmed the valuation, mortgage and conveyancing fees, but let's guesstimate £110k. With that figure, he should get £64k (his £41k deposit plus £23k) and you should get £46k (your £23k deposit plus £23k).

But, assuming he has no savings or other assets he can use (?) can he actually get a mortgage for £156k? (This is the total amount he would need to pay off the joint mortgage and give you your £46k share.) If he can't get a mortgage for that amount, it's a lost cause and the two of you will have no choice but to sell. In that case the costs will be higher as there will be agent fees and the conveyancing will be more, so you'd get less than £46k in the end.

As MooseBeTime pointed out, this is not under family law (as you are not married). It is important that you do your best to reach an agreement in mediation, because it will be costly to go to court, and if you need a solicitor you will quickly lose a lot in legal fees.

So, my advice is to talk to him about getting a valuation survey and ask him if he's spoken to mortgage adviser yet, then go from there, but suggest mediation if the two of you can't agree.

There is some info/advice here that you might find helpful: https://www.advicenow.org.uk/get-help/family-and-children/divorce-and-separation/living-together-and-breaking

See also https://hoa.org.uk/advice/guides-for-homeowners/for-owners/transfer-of-ownership-of-property/

Tell him you’ll offer him £25k to buy him out instead. I doubt he’ll bit your hand off. I did this with my ex when he was stalling to buy me out many years ago. In the end, he paid up.