How to start moving on

[KeM01]

How do you start to accept its over. After another row and ruined Christmas I asked husband to leave and he went on boxing day. Even though I know in my head it had to happen my heart can't accept it. We argue and make up, have done the whole relationship, but now I see the impact it has on our children (10/13) I'm trying to do the right thing but I dont even know how to start accepting its over when it doesn't even feel real. He has blocked all contact with me as he didn't want to leave. I made the decision to break up our family and cause all this hurt but I felt I had no choice. In my heart I'm waiting to make up and do what we normally do but when I think about the impact on my children I know i have break the cycle.
I think this post is just to get it all out my head as I'm not close to my family and don't talk about my marriage to my friends as it's been so up and down I just stopped confiding.

You start to make a plan.

And the first thing you do is give yourself a pat on the back for taking the first, hardest, most practical step in telling him to leave. But you have to back that up with action or he might think he can just come home in a day or two. We are ALL creatures of habit.

I'm hoping you have a little clarity now. When a girlfriend of mine split from her husband & the dust had settled a little I asked her when she felt she could see light at the end of the tunnel & she said - the day he walked out the door.

so be good to yourself & your kids & remember why you’ve made this monumental decision - to remove yourselves from this toxic relationship & the impact of that on your kids. You’re brave, strong & can do it. But you need a plan. Starting with a solicitor I suspect

Thank you - my rational head tells me chin up you know you've done the right thing. My plan for the next few days is to try and give the kids a nice few days to make up for christmas. I'm a glass half empty type of person so my plan is to work on that! I'll need a new job cause I work too far away right do it daily for school runs without my husband so first step job hunting. The house will need to be sold as I can't keep it myself, then I guess a solicitor. It seems over whelming but one bit at a time.
Thank you for replying x

I'm in a very similar position, OP - hope you stick to your guns and do see a solicitor asap. It sounds very much like you're doing the right thing - having children in the mix changes everything.

I'm sorry you're also going through this. I hope things work out for you. Thanks for replying.

Another one here in a similar situation. I have made plans, consulted a solicitor. Waiting to consolidate something financially. So difficult.

I found it became more real to me once i started telling people in real life