Child support rights

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Separated from my husband but currently living in the same house. Both trying to move on with our lives separately. He has told me a couple days ago that he’s going to move out to live with his new girlfriend, but will only continue to pay the mortgage. He works full time and I work part time so I then have time to manage the house and kids. This has come as a bit of a bombshell and I’m not entirely sure whether he can just walk away and leave all the other bills to me . We’ve never received any benefits apart from the child benefit that all parents recieve so I’m confused as to how I move forward from here. I’m currently looking at upping my hours at work to increase my income. Any advice from anyone who’s been through something similar would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.

You can apply for benefits today if you are on a low income. You can also claim child maintenance. However he may then decide not to pay the mortgage or at least his half of it. Not many people can afford a mortgage and child support and if they can they may not want to.

I would speak to him about what he will commit to in terms of both paying child support and the mortgage. He also isn’t going to do this for ever and he will have expectations that you move to financial independence at some point.

Just make sure you're not cutting off your nose to spite your face. Its possible him paying the mortgage is more than you'll get as CMS - I'd be sure of those numbers before having a conversation, as realistically if CMS is less he could just pay less - he's not responsible for the other bills once he's moved out. Are you working on selling the house, or is the plan for you to stay there?

Absolutely this.

You’re likely to be better off with him paying the mortgage than him paying CMS- he doesn’t have to pay both so if the mortgage is the higher amount then let that continue.

The bills once he’s not living there aren’t his responsibility

Will be pay the entire mortgage? Lucky you (I mean that relatively to other break up people) if so, I don't think this will last long so use this time to skill up and increase your earning potential longer term.

You can use the child maintenance calculator if you know his salary to calculate what you'd get - only go down this route if it's more than the mortgage and he's in a stable PAYE job otherwise it's easy to hide income. Also be mindful that he might decide he wants the kids 50/50 to avoid child maintenance which may or may not be good for them- you'll know them best.

You can do online checks to see which benefits you'd be entitled to but you'd only get this if you don't have big savings.

Selling the house might be a necessity depending on circumstances going forward. We do have a child under 18 which I don’t think he will be able to house 50/50.

Read the metres and let suppliers know the readings and that you are responsible. Council tax need notifying so you should get 25% discount.

He still needs to contribute to house insurance

The others are right - look at the Child Maintenance figure and compare it to the mortgage to see which is more. There are online CM calculators where you can see how much you’d get.

Be warned that when he decides that he’d like to buy a house (alone or with a gf), he will want the house sold so he can raise more money. If that sudden “surprise” would be inconvenient then it’s better to sell now so he can’t bring it up later.

You are doing the right thing looking into increasing income. Universal Credit will pay a big whack of childcare if you’re on a low wage

You need to think about and agree short term and then long term

short term, the bills need laying. Who’s going to pay what? Can he afford mortgage and cms ? If not which one? What can you afford? Put in a claim for uc

long term, what’s the plan re divorce, you’ll be expected to either work full time or live on pt earning plus cms plus uc. Will you be selling the house ? Are there pensions or any other assets? What will child arrangements look like ?

Isn't a bit more complex if he is on the mortgage. ? I mean if he is on the mortgage than doesn't he has to pay for that or (assuming you don't have funds to pay whole) you both risk defaulting and losing the house + never being able to get a mortgage again? Is it right that if he pays mortgage he is not responsible for other costs?

From his POV it isn’t right to pay the mortgage and not live there. Technically he does have to repay the mortgage but assuming it is a joint mortgage so does the OP. The lender doesn’t care who.

It doesn’t benefit either of them not to be reasonable and cooperative. They don’t have enough money not to be.

Going forward both will be responsible for their housing costs and they both need homes. The cheapest option for the OP is to stay put until she can afford a mortgage in her own right. But he won’t wait for ever to do that. Especially if he is squeezed with mortgage payments, his own housing and child support.

My EX pays half the mortgage and CM which almost equates to the full cost of the mortgage but I’m left to pay all the bills as I’m in the house with DC. The house is on the market as I can’t afford to pay this for long. I work part time and have managed to up my hours for a few months but I’ll have to get a second job once that contract ends.
I’ve applied for UC as well so waiting to hear if I’m successful.
You can apply for the 25% Council Tax discount and I make sure my gas, electric and water figures are submitted monthly.

You could ask for a mortgage break or to move to an interest only option for a while as my mortgage provider offered those options to help me out.

use online benefits calculator like entitledto and the CM calculator. You can apply for UC if living separately within the house. If you have a spare room you could consider a lodger (or au pair for cheaper childcare). Longer term it’s better to have clean financial break and be building up your own equity so delaying a sale isn’t usually a good idea. You will be expected to work full time if you can and will need to for your own mortgage. Try and organise a fair split of childcare eg so you can work full days and he has to cover childcare costs on his days. Working compressed hours can also help. Moneysavingexpert has a useful audit for finances eg switching utilities, cancelling subscriptions, cashback sites or accounts, track spending in an app. I’m on a fairly tight budget and found lots of useful tips.Try and agree a split of larger expenses like school trips, uniform or laptop for dc now. It will be the larger expenses or when things break and need repair that you will struggle. If dc are teens then I think pocket money direct from their Dad can be meaningful. My ex never gave dc a penny and it means they don’t see him as someone they would ask for help.