Malicious comms help

[GlennCloseButNoCigar]

Hello,

I don’t normally post threads but I’ve found myself in need of some sort of advice.

Abusive ex (coercive control, SA, physical, financial and psychological abuse etc) has an Instagram account where he mostly posts about me. Really nasty disparaging stuff, attacks on my character, parenting, accuses me of abusing him and name calls me often.

Normally I’d ignore him as it’s been 4 years and will be 5 in March 2025 since I left him. But he’s taken to using pictures of me that he’s badly photoshopped. Think emojis on my head or a rubbish attempt at blurring me out. People we know have come across this account and recognised me straight away and informed me of this account.

For clarity the post separation abuse has been going on relentlessly for the entire time since I left him.

Police said that because he’s not named me, put my face on uncovered or made a credible threat to my life there’s nothing they can do.

We have a court order and within that order there is an undertaking to say ‘neither respondent and petitioner will disparage the other on any form of social media’ so he’s breaking the court order. But as I can’t prove it’s about me as a stranger likely wouldn’t know, do I have any legal recourse? Or is this yet another form of abuse he’ll get away with?

if they are real friends, they will help you by reporting the account to meta. As can you.
But i'm guessing you also need legal advice. And hopefully the police will take a report serioiusly.

Wpuldnt this come under harassment? If its identifiable as you doesn't matter if he doesn't name you.

This is what I said. But the police officer said no as ‘he’s made no threats towards you’ hasn’t publicly identified me or left my face uncovered.

I just find this all so frustrating.

I would speak to Rights of Women and double check what the police have told you.

https://www.met.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/beta-stalking-and-harassment/what-is-stalking-harassment/

Met police sat it's about the posts being abusive rather than having to be threatening. If its been going on for 4 yrs it's definitely sustained too. I would call 101 and use the term harassment and say you find it intimidating and abusive.

I’m sorry you are going through this - it sounds terrible and must be very stressful.

My now DH’s EW was sending extremely vitriolic emails, text messages, WhatsApp messages and leaving abusive voicemails) to my now DH. It was still happening 8 years after their divorce.

After trying to ignore it for years he eventually had a judge write it into a CAO (child arrangement order) that she was only allowed to email him via a certain email address (he set up a special email address for her only and would only check it sporadically). The judge deemed examples of what she was writing, sending as abusive. She was told that if she dared used any other form of communication my DH - he could report it to the judge and he would hold her in contempt.

Good luck - it’s extremely stressful and he is obviously unhinged. These people are so emotionally damaged they are unable to behave like a normal human being.