Has any one used a divorce coach? is it helpful?

[Disagreeable]

Just that really. I feel totally overwhelmed but what steps I would need to take to split from my husband. I chatted to a solicitor and she recommended seeing a divorce coach to help with an 'action plan'

Anyone used this before?

You are right, my apologies. I guess what I was trying to say, but have failed badly, is that divorce coaches can be beneficial. But I take your point.

If someone has been a family solicitor and decided to become a divorce coach then I would seriously question why they have decided to stop being a solicitor. I'd then spend some time on Google.

The only former solicitor who became a divorce coach that I've heard of did so because she was struck off and jailed for two counts of fraud and perverting the course of justice. Coaching offered a nice unregulated niche full of shady network marketers offering manifesting and Law of Attraction bollocks. She was of course "accredited" by some meaningless coaching organisation. I'm not knocking all coaches but let's face it, many are grifters.

The one I came across may have been helpful in some ways though it's questionable as her divorce expertise was tainted by her subjective experience of her own divorce, but the business model seems rather flawed as I can't imagine there's enough money in most people's wallets after paying a solicitor to also pay a divorce coach.

I’ve also come across a divorce coach who was struck off the roll of solicitors after being imprisoned for fraud. She has the nerve to reframe her career change as something she chose to do after a successful career as a criminal lawyer! I suppose she was a criminal lawyer (of sorts) but if she were as successful as she claimed she wouldn’t have got caught.

Me? If I earned the money she does then then I wouldn't need to be on here advertising! No, she has just really helped me so I wanted to share the details.

January is one of the busiest months of the year for divorce lawyers when it comes to new enquiries, so the timing of this thread makes me suspicious.

Anyone paying for a coach and a competent family lawyer must have more money than sense.

I know someone who started out as a mummy blogger but rebranded herself as a divorce coach after her husband left her. She is the BIGGEST mess (understandably given her life changes) and I genuinely worried incase any vulnerable women contacted her. She was charging about £200 for a phone call and her sole qualification was having been recently divorced herself.

Bhavna Radia
She was a divorce lawyer. Now she is a divorce coach.

She's gone through a divorce herself.

Her prices are on the website, I know what I pay for an hour consultation and what a day of court support would be as it's advertised.

I think you can get the advice and emotional support from friends and Mumsnet for free!
mn was great in guiding me in my situation and signposting to online resources
And talking things over with friends and a counsellor occasionally was also good.

Alot of my friends disappeared when the split happened to be honest and the ones that remained would have quickly tired of hearing me talk about it. A lengthy affair after a 20 year marriage.

I have young kids, I'm the much higher earner, I want to move the kids school soon, my H is threatenign to leave his job, my H is v difficult and also I'm concerned about his ability to look after kids. I realise all divorces are difficult but I can't be stuck in the same house as him for months on end, or unable to sell because he won't budge. This divorce coach comes highly recommended and essentially is your sounding board - half therapist half solicitor. But maybe it's not needed. It's £450 for a 2 hour session to provide an action plan, a script, different scenarios and how to respond, and a realistic plan of what needs to happen when.

I'm doubting it now and feeling silly though. I've booked the 1st session for Jan. I could still cancel it. It's a lot of money. Maybe I'm just hoping someone is going to fix it for me somehow. Like 2 hours with this woman will sort it all out! I don't know.

I pay £70 an hour in Bristol for the same service, either face to face or over Zoom.

My solicitor was £300 an hour so using the divorce coach as a sounding board was so much cheaper and gave me legal advice and someone to mop up my tears at the same time.

@ThisQuickPlumFinch so many posts have been deleted in this thread. Would you mind messaging me the Bristol coach? That is way cheaper than mine and sounds like they've really helped you

Done.

And she really did save me, suggested a divorce settlement where as my lawyer would have happily carried on and maybe in the long run I would have been better off but I could not take the pain any longer. I was seeing her weekly, now I am monthly as I need to move on with my life and close this chapter.

If there is anything I could recommend in the divorce process it is a coach to hold your hand, listen and make suggestions. Best thing I ever did and the best money I ever spent.

Honestly think this sounds like money well spent if they genuinely help you to work out a viable plan. I wouldn’t be put off just because others don’t feel the need

Not used one but wish I had one when getting divorced. I think getting divorced, it can really help to have someone else help you think through options, and to have some support. I think sometimes with marriage break up you aren't ready for therapy but a coach could really help. I'd go for someone divorced and with a coaching qualifcation of some sort...

Yes.
ADVICE NOW
link to ADVICE NOW is in header on this thread.

ok, it’s not coaches, it s free advice on divorce. Guides to download and read. Tells you the law. The process. What you need solicitor for, what you don’t and what you might,

in 2021 I divorced my ex in under 4 months for £1500 . Ok, laws changed and it’d be minimum of 26 weeks now. And slightly more cost as court fees gone up. But seriously, don’t pay for a coach. Used these guides . In fact I gave them to ex to read so he knew I wasn’t telling him shit over what would happen and what he needed to do. He found them blimmin useful too.

Aside form that, you might find it useful to pay for therepy to deal with emotional fall out. But I found looking at grief pathway very helpful in first place if you’ve not seen that