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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Clean break?

1 reply

jumphigh24 · 18/12/2024 12:19

I need to get away quickly because of abuse.

We've got few assets - 2 old cars, some savings.

He's never bothered to save for retirement, despite working, but meanwhile I have built up a half-decent pension. He has no idea what it is worth, he has never been interested.

I will be leaving the family home (for speed) - leaving him with everything - furniture, kitchen stuff, TV...etc - and I will have to start again from scratch, in a new rental, to keep myself and my 15yo son safe.

I just want to get a "clean break" - I don't want maintenance from him, our 15yo son 100% doesn't want to live with him - they have not spoken to each other in weeks. I'm happy to give H 3 months of my share of the rent on our current house so he doesn't have to move out immediately with our 17yo, who doesn't deserve all of this crap, but will probably want to stay with his Dad. H can't afford our current house on his own, so the landlords are unlikely to give him a tenancy in his name only. We don't have enough in savings for solicitors...etc. Legal fees could very easily wipe out my/our entire savings.

Do you think the court would just let us agree to keep "what is ours" and walk away? Including keeping all of my pension? I'll also leave him with our most valuable car (still only £5k). My rent will go up 3x after I move because our current house is extremely cheap, so I will be considerably worse off for the foreseeable future as a result of the breakup.

Obvs my preferred option is to stay put in my current (and cheap!) house, but he refuses to leave. He's toxic and I just want to completely separate and go no-contact as soon as possible, and so does our 15yo. And it doesn't seem at all fair that I saved hard into a pension for 20 years, for him to then abuse me then take half of it, whilst also increasing my living costs substantially for the next few years.

OP posts:
LemonTT · 18/12/2024 19:25

I am going to assume you are married. If you are not then you don’t have to share anything.

Your pension is a marital asset and needs to be shared. Most likely via a pension sharing order. Your future rent or his future rent are your own issues. If you each have one child resident with you there is no immediate child support.

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