I'd like everyone's honest opinion on my situation at the moment. I am a revert. I have been married for 4 years now. I have two children, my eldest is 4 with autism and my youngest is 2. We have been staying at my in-laws house for 4 years as well. We have been having no luck finding a home here with our local council so it has put a massive strain on our marriage. Long story short living with his inlaws has not been easy whatsoever in regards to privacy and his mother not being the kindest at times. My husbands mother can sometimes be overbearing and controlling especially when it comes to what I do with my children then from that how I wash my own clothes, to what I can and cannot wear and even gets involved in our arguments… but I have been patient hoping we would find a home soon. my husband will always defend her even when she is wrong. I pay for everything me and my children need while my husband pays his mother’s rent instead of finding us a home. He’s an estate agent and has earned up to £45,000 this year.
However he kept his earnings a secret from me knowing he could have rented us a home this whole time….instead he insisted we wait on the council list as he ‘can’t afford to rent a home’ .There's even been times when I haven't had enough to do a food shop for my children...when I ask my husband to provide this he will turn round and ask me to pay the money back after he has 'lent it to me'. He lends his friends and family money with the highest amount coming to £2000 and doesn’t pester them for any of it back, but instead will hound me to pay back £100 for his children to eat throughout the weeks.
I’ve had enough of waiting for a home so I have decided to move back near my family which live an hour and a half away where I know I will be housed. He has told me if I do so he will divorce me and end up hating me. We have been staying in the same room for four years now, whilst sharing the same bed together with my two young children. I cannot continue to live like this…it will take a long while for us to find a home here, and the fact that he could have done something about our situation a long time ago really makes me angry. I hate the fact that I have to live in a bedroom with our children. He seems to think it’s okay to wait another year or so to be housed even it means our autistic child won’t get the support he needs in this city.
I have also found out my eldest child with autism will have no chance of receiving an ECHP and 1:1 here in the city we are living in, we have better chances moving back near my family as the school are much better there and I can finally give my children a home and their own room. I want my children to have the opportunities they deserve.
on top of all this my son is in and out of hospital and having antibiotics for his respiratory issues as he’s struggling to breath. I believe this is due to the mould in our bedroom…if all these factors combined isn’t enough reason for us to find a new home then I don’t know what is!
My husband is refusing to move with us as his business is in this city and will not listen to reason. He told me if I move with our children I am ‘taking them away’ from him. He refuses to commute as it wastes his time. He thinks I am wrong for this, and that staying in his mother’s house is the only solution.
My mental health has deteriorated, I have no privacy as a woman living with not only his mother but that also includes his two brothers. I’m worried about my children…. I am always walking in egg shells living here and I’ve had enough. What do I do?