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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Do I need a consent order?

6 replies

Anon1621 · 16/12/2024 13:08

I'm looking for anyone else's experiences of this...

I've spoken to a solicitor & she's advised that I need to file for divorce and obtain a consent order before selling the family home. I have concerns that my STBXH is in a lot of debt, even though he denies this. I've spoken to him to today say I want to file for divorce & get the consent order as it's the only way we're legally covered. He got angry & said I'm being influenced by my family etc & not thinking for myself. He's adamant that we can sort this through a conveyancing solicitor by speaking with our mortgage company.

There's been a lot of verbal & emotional abuse from him over the last 15 months or so. I find it really hard to stand up to him & have a tendency to bury my head in the sand over these things. My family believe he's doing it again by not wanting to go down this route. I just don't know what to think anymore.

Any advice would be really appreciated. Thanks x

OP posts:
LemonTT · 16/12/2024 15:22

Funnily enough the qualified solicitor is right and the angry man is wrong. Marriage is essentially a device that financially binds 2 people in every way. Until it is undone properly there is always a risk the other party will exert their entitlement to anything you own.

The most famous but rare example is the person who won the lottery. They had to share it with their ex because they didn’t have a consent order. Whilst that is very unlikely to happen, one of you will die before the other. Without a consent order your will is open to challenge and if you don’t have a will they are your next of kin and inherit everything and benefit from any insurance or pension policy.

You don’t have to spend a fortune arguing the toss but it pays to get a consent order drawn up.

TeapotCollection · 16/12/2024 15:39

I’m not legally qualified but I thought it was a Clean Break that’s needed to stop any future claims. I think you need a consent order to get one of these though

Hopefully someone who actually knows will come along

CuppaTea23 · 16/12/2024 19:22

"Funnily enough the qualified solicitor is right and the angry man is wrong." 🤣

Agreed, you can make changes via solicitors etc, but you can't be fully financially separated without a consent order being done alongside your divorce. I see "clean break" used as a term meaning that judges prefer to sign off an order which is finished there and then, not including delayed payments / maintenance etc. Partly as no one knows what will happen in the future so they apparently prefer a situation where things are split and that's that.

So sorry that sounds like a tricky chat with your ex to be OP, although all the more important if you suspect debt.

Maybe he'll trust government website if he thinks you're making things up with misinformation?

https://www.gov.uk/money-property-when-relationship-ends/apply-for-consent-order

Money and property when you divorce or separate

How to work out splitting up money, property and possessions when you divorce or dissolve a civil partnership - including mediation.

https://www.gov.uk/money-property-when-relationship-ends/apply-for-consent-order

Marshbird · 17/12/2024 21:04

TeapotCollection · 16/12/2024 15:39

I’m not legally qualified but I thought it was a Clean Break that’s needed to stop any future claims. I think you need a consent order to get one of these though

Hopefully someone who actually knows will come along

A consent order is legal term

a clean break is just one outcome of a consent order if that’s suitable in this case, most courts prefer clean break arrangements as part of consent order (or any type of financial order).

ADVICE NOW is what OP needs

Marshbird · 17/12/2024 21:23

At top of this page is link to ADVICE NOW.

USE IT. READ . Read all their guides before you do anything else.

you must understand how to do petition. You can do this yourself.

you must understand about full legal financial disclosure you both need to make. D81 and form E. You mustn’t agree to anything, and indeed you can’t sell house till this is done well you can, but youd be the idiot he’s trying to take advantage of. Or maybe he’s the idiot 🤦‍♀️. This includes all assets, including pensions, savings, inheritances, cars,property - the lot. He will break the law if he fills it in incorrectly. 2 laws in fact potentially. Courts don’t like that,

you then need to get your financial order in place and legally drafted for court to seal (approve) at final point of divorce. Mostly people try to use the “consent order” process. You agree between you, solicitor “legally drafts “ it and it’s submitted to courts for approval. if you can’t agree, it’s mediation to try to get to consent order point. If that’s not working it full out solicitors, court hearing and months and thousands of pounds- unless you qualify for legal aid. You need to do everything you can to park anger and get consent order

you need to read ADVICE NOW to understand how “fair settlement “ law works. These are 10 or so criteria that are embedded in law with which courts must comply to approve any and all financial agreements, consent or not. “Fair settlement “ is based on future needs only. Doesn’t take into account passed behaviours. It doesn’t start with 50:5O, or even necessarily end with 50:50, but if 59:50 meets “fair settlement “ then courts like it. The law lords who wrote the law on “fair settlement “ (the mighty Lady Hale) called it “shared misery” which is about right. You will BOTH come out of divorce worse off. No matter what money you have. It is the inevitable outcome of reversing a marriage which makes both parties better off.

ADVICE NOW, also has guides on child arrangements- if that applies

These guides will tell you what parts of processes you need solicitor for, where you absolutely don’t need solicitor, and where you might.

Read before you go to see solicitor. Be in position to tell solicitor exaclty what tasks you need them to do. Be realistic about how “fair settlement “ criteria apply to you, and what your likely outcome will be. It’s painful. But you will waste £1000s and months trying to push for something that you’re just not likely to get.

your dh is a ignoramous. A conveyencing solicitor will not help with divorce financial orders. Nor should they. Really not. And no, you don’t walk out of a marriage without putting a legal contract in place around how to severe your financial arrangements. That way lies disaster. He could come after you years later for an inheritence from a new spouse for gods sake, or a lottery win or anything. And so could you to him. Maybe that would focus his attention- to say that you could come after his pension years down the line, when he’s more wealthy and has bigger saving pot.

unfortunately if he’s in debt, it is marital debt. You will need to include that in financial declaration and you’ll both be worse off for it. There’s nowt you can do about that. The settlements are based on future needs only. It doesn’t matter what his behaviour was, how he ran debts up, whether you knew etc, courts cannot do otherwise, it’s the law.

go to link. Urgently. is power.

Marshbird · 17/12/2024 21:28

Oh, and print off ADVICE NOW guides and give them to him to read. Just so he knows you’re being influenced by what law says, not your family. He clearly knows less than you about the process. That’s not saying much, but you can BOTH learn and work togther ideally on getting this sorted as cheaply, quickly and painlessly as possible

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