So for background DS was born in 2020, prior to this I also had a full-term stillbirth in 2018 with the same partner.
DS will sporadically ask about their father, often talking about his brother and their ‘daddy’. This has been something I have been able to keep quite simple when the topic comes up as he doesn’t over think or question it, however things have become complicated.
DS hasn’t had contact with his father since he was 3 months old, so has no idea who or where he is. Unfortunately contact was stopped and court proceedings completed in 2021 that said his father couldn’t have any direct contact with DS unless he had completed a domestic abuse course, he ignored court documents, proceedings and eventually stopped attending court altogether (to add DS has no contact with paternal-family either - their choice). His father now has 2 more children with a new partner. My DS recently began primary school, and upon starting the school I soon realised that his father’s younger child has also started the pre-school at the same school often seeing each other on the school run. My son still doesn’t know him or of these siblings, however has been asking more frequently about his ‘daddy’, Up until now he’s only ever asked his ‘daddy’s name’ and ‘where does he live?’ Which I’ve always tried to be honest about told him is fathers name and that I don’t know where he lives. Over the past week, he’s asking more about his ‘daddy’ for example ‘where’s my daddy’ ‘why doesn’t my daddy come to my nativity’ ‘does daddy love me’ The list sort of goes on and I’m struggling with the answers that are age appropriate, obviously one thing I will not do is lie to him, however, I don’t know how to answer him in a way he will understand. I also worry with the school situation, this may get worse over the next couple of years ( for context my child has SEN and we have an EHCP with the school he is at named in it - so moving schools isn’t a viable option when he’s very settled )… any help or advice appreciated.