Setting up a new house in secret

[TwinkleTwinkleTwinkie]

I’m secretly planning to leave my husband and once I receive an offer of a house I will have to lay flooring, furnish an entire house, possibly paint it and put up curtains etc. All without him knowing. I’m now getting overwhelmed at the enormity of the task. I will potentially have about a month to do this (paying for both properties) until I leave.

Has anyone done similar?

Sorry to hear this OP. Are you safe at the moment? Are you needing to leave because of abuse? If that's the case please reach out to women's aid.

So sorry you are in this situation.

I would get the flooring done and do the rest later. You can get temporary blinds I think, just for the bedroom/sitting room. Order a bed to be delivered, sneak some bedding to a friend's house. A few pots and pans, plates and cutlery if you can. Buy a new kettle on the way to your new house. If you need a sofa, tables etc. British Heart Foundation have some good stuff and will deliver.

Good luck!

OP I don't have a huge amount of advice but - moving, yes; flooring, probably, depending on the state of it and whether it's just you or you and children. Everything else can wait, do it as an when once you've moved. Rather than getting overwhelmed by the details get yourself out and then assess.

Exactly. It will be more enjoyable doing the house when you feel free.

Sorry you've got that to deal with. Some advice:

Set up a new email account for the move specifically to avoid correspondence coming to your real personal account he may have access to.

Only worry about the absolute essentials for when you arrive there. Order the rest of the furniture etc to be delivered in one lot the next day when you've had chance to sleep and freshen up.

Be careful of email notifications of any orders coming in on your phone, set your phone to mute and alter notifications displaying in your phone settings.

Only tell anyone who definitely needs to know (if anyone) so nobody can slip up about it to your husband.

Siphon off some money from any accounts to have cash in hand for when you've gone. Helps to have some spending that can be untraceable and no record on statements.

Don't allow yourself to get drunk around him or be in any situation where you may let anything slip in an argument.

Play the game at home, keep everything as normal as possible to avoid him blocking suspicious, grey rock if you need to.

Good luck to you.

I did many years ago.

I had to flee in the end before I'd got anything properly sorted but I did get the cooker, fridge and beds in before we left thankfully. There was no flooring down just tiled floors downstairs but it didn't matter we were ok. It took time but it's worth the stress.

Best of luck x

Apologies Op I do not have any personal experience of this . There was a thread a year or two ago about an amazing lady who did as you are planning and moved with her kids . You could try searching on the separation / divorce boards . Or perhaps someone else can remember her user name . From what I can remember it was a great outcome for her and her family and they were all happy and settled after a while .I don't know if she had to do any work before she moved in or it was in a ready to move condition .

I am not sure if it is just you or you also have dependent children . Other advice I have seen is to try and add a few essentials onto a shop e.g toiletries , cleaning products and have a ready made cache of these . That is probably easier if you are doing a physical shop and you have somewhere to store these .
I wish you the best of luck for your future and I hope that you are safe .