I am sorry Op. This sounds very difficult for you to deal with .
I am sorry to have to bring it up , but do you think there is a possibility that there another woman ( OW ) here , even if he has not acted in his feelings yet ? Generally speaking , men do not leave relationships without at least an OW in their sights .
This isn't true for all break - ups but most divorces are instigated by women .
I think you could try for the next 10 years to try and fathom why he has left you , and can be so cold . I do think you will never fully be able to understand it . Men generally tend to find it easier to move on and I am not sure if it is because generally they are less emotional .
You cannot understand it either because you are a kind person who would never have treated him the same way .
It may well be that he has narcissistic tendencies but there is also " cognitive dissonance " where to move on he shifts the blame to you for the relationship break - down . In that way he is not the " baddie " in his own eyes .
I think he has now shown you his true colours regardless and you have to accept that he will not be someone you can now trust re finances and being fair or kind to you .
I think you need to get some legal advice to protect yourself and reach out to family and friends for support if you have them .
This is not on you , he caused this by his behaviour and he is continuing to treat you badly .You will grieve the end of the relationship and question what if anything you could have done differently . This is down to him and he is showing you how cruel he is in being able to discard you and disregard your feelings .
Just try and take it day by day and do only the things you need to do urgently . Be kind to yourself and take care . 