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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Really, really, really nasty divorce.......

6 replies

Podperfect · 06/12/2024 12:20

Just looking for emotional support really and whether anyone else been through or going through similar as feeling pretty alone right now..... Im older, in my 50's and been married over 30 years, been mostly stay at home mum but also worked part time in husbands business, which I was/am a Parter in. Things not been right for years, but haven't rocked the boat because of kids etc. Finally had enough and suggested separation and that's when things got worse. It ended up with Police getting involved and me fleeing home. I stayed with friends and he ended up getting arrested and then charged and later pleading guilty to stalking and harassment, to which he got a suspended sentence, fine and two year restraining order. I now realise (through a lot of support) that my whole relationship was abusive and I was being coercively controlled. Anyway, I applied for divorce 18 months ago and all the way along he has refused to engage, hasn't returned paperwork, was issued with a Penal Notice and another fine by the court. BUT he still seems to be living his life like nothing has happened!! He has cut me off completely financially, I haven't seen any money from the partnership, but got landed with a 4k tax bill for money I have never even seen (I haven't paid it and I can't, so revenue aware) I am having to live off grid because I am afraid of him finding me and he is still living at former home (with a new woman) and carrying on like I never existed. I have been informed by the court that because nothing has been remotely agreed, there will be a final financial hearing in the Spring. He has been having the opportunity to spend/hide money and won't supply anything etc. I'm not sure what I am asking really, just wanted to vent in the hope that someone might have some thoughts as I feel so useless and stupid over everything. Thank you for reading.

OP posts:
AmandaHoldensLips · 06/12/2024 12:44

Have you contacted Women's Aid? They will be able to advise you.

unsync · 06/12/2024 12:57

Similar. My ex didn't engage through divorce process. I had to serve papers with Court Bailiffs etc. He came close to being in contempt too. You need to have good legal representation or be really on the ball if you are self repping.

Mumof3confused · 08/12/2024 18:57

Do you have a lawyer? Is he paying out a salary or dividends from the company in your name and pocketing the money? Can you speak to the company accountants?

PurpleCapybaraFan · 08/12/2024 19:16

I really feel for you. I've just hit the big 6-0. Husband and I separated 4 years ago and are now divorcing and the house is having to be sold. I've got two of our (young adult) children with me.
The stress, anxiety and exhaustion have been (and still are) awful. I'm sorry I can't offer any words of wisdom but just letting you know you're not on your own. I really hope your situation improves soon xx

JollyHollyMe · 08/12/2024 19:40

What does companies house state- that will tell you if the company is still trading and if you are still listed as a shareholder/director.

Elektra1 · 09/12/2024 08:39

If you're a director of the company you're entitled to see its financial records for the purpose of discharging your duties as a director. In fact you should demand this because if he is doing things with company money that are not in the company's interests, you as co-director could be liable (whether or not you in fact knew what he was doing).

He might try to remove you as a director, which can only be done in accordance with the Articles of Association of the company, any shareholders' agreement (if there is one) and the Companies Act 2006. If he removes you in breach of any of the relevant provisions, and you are also a shareholder, that would be likely to be unfairly prejudicial to your interests as a shareholder and you'd have a claim for unfair prejudice.

You need a divorce lawyer who can also deal with the above issues (which are not family law matters but will arise in many divorces where there is a family business).

Bottom line: he can screw you over royally by doing things he's not lawfully allowed to do, and you can only get redress for this by taking legal action.

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