Accessing his computer

[ducksinarownow]

I am trying to get myself organised as I need to leave my controlling DH.
It's only really hit me how controlling he is as it's subtle, but I have no access to our money (savings etc) other than that which I earn from my part time job (we have 3 kids).
I pay this money into a joint account that's our house account and buy all shopping etc from it - but he pays only some of what he earns into it, and I'm always having to ask him to pay more in to be able to get basics. He earns plenty last time I knew, so it's not that he can't afford it, he's just using the bare minimum of his money while I spend all mine - this is just for food, clothing etc.

Anyway, I'm prob not explaining well, but I know he has money - and I actually saw a file on his computer where he has all his statements etc from savings, but I haven't opened anything as I know he would get angry and that it comes up in 'recent' when you open a file...

So my question is - if I'm to get financial info to work out where I stand, I need these docs. How do I get them without him seeing I have accessed them on his computer? He sometimes goes out for walks while leaving his computer on and it's not immediately locked (which is how I saw this) but it locks itself after a certain time. I don't know his password. If I use a pen drive and copy them to that - will that show?? He will be so angry if he knows I've been on his computer, but I know I need to get these as I'm sure he has thousands and I have nothing so I can't leave him 😫

If you copy the files directly to the USB drive without opening them at all, I don't think it will show anything. If you open a document it can sometimes show the date.

If you want to know where you stand then you file for divorce and ask that he makes full disclosure.

What you don't do is break the law hacking into people's computers and snooping on files that are not yours.

Forensic accountant.

If they are married everything is jointly owned, I can't see it as any sort of offence to look at family financial accounts on a family computer, even if her DH mainly deals with the finances and it's notionally his computer (and not locked).

Yeah just copy the files to a memory stick without opening them. Do the entire folder/folders in one go.

If she's planning to divorce him and accesses his computer to access bank statements solely in his name, I can assure you it would be a very bad idea. And be of no benefit either because anything found would be inadmissible.

It is unlawful and it could be an offence. It is very difficult to use legally without disclosing it was obtained without his consent. A lawyer may and should refuse to handle it or act on it.

The OP can front all that out as it gets the information out there. However none of us have the right to intrude on our spouse’s privacy. The reason for that is to protect people from abuse and control.

I'll PM you.

I'm in a similar position and know, as PP have pointed out, that you cannot use any information found this way.

If he was penniless, and you needed to leave him, you would and could
So even if you don't find out all the money stuff right away, you can still leave
Don't forget your power in the stress of the moment, you are strong enough to find a way.

Speak to a solicitor. You get a free half an hour consultation.
You can ask he does a Form E which is where he has to disclose all his finances. He will need to give 12 months worth of bank statements from every account his name is on to his solicitor which will then be available for you to view.
My Ex hid money from me which all came out in the financial disclosure. He had squirrelled away thousands and also spent thousands on his affair and OW!

I had photos on my phone of some evidence I found but the solicitor told me she couldn’t use them.

Or as others have said, get a forensic accountant on the case.

What he’s doing is financial abuse.
It won’t be looked upon favourably by a Solicitor or a Judge so the law is on your side.

I know that if I look at these documents they probably aren't going to be able to be used, but I also just want to know what I'm asking someone to look for. If it was by post and he had an envelope come in that said 'Santander' on it - then I'd know to look for a Santander account, but as it's all hidden, I don't know what accounts he has - I just know he earns a lot more than he spends on us or the kids and with 3 kids to think of I'm so worried about the money side as I've been part time since the eldest was born and so my earning potential is crap. He's not been happy about me working at all, he wants me to be a housewife, and it's all part of the same thing - he wants me 100% dependent on him and at the moment I am and I'm scared. He gets very angry sometimes so I need to get myself fully organised before acting.

This