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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Advice on how to leave

3 replies

smallsteps1234 · 03/12/2024 11:50

Advice on how to leave.

Can anyone help me, please? I have been in a relationship for 7 years, he can be charming and funny at times but really, life with him is incredibly difficult and my mental health is suffering.

As soon as he knows I’m planning to leave he sucks me back in so I need to plan without him knowing, like his last partner did.

However, we are not married, I’ve got myself into debt whilst being with him, he owns the house, I have no part of it, I work at his work for minimum wage part-time, I have no family or friends to stay with anymore. I have a daughter to think about. I also have two cats and a lovely dog.

I’m starting to struggle to work as I am so mentally exhausted. I feel really depressed and am having intrusive thoughts. I just want to get out of this. I keep thinking about the good times but this relationship is going to kill me. I miss me. My confidence is gone.

I’m on the housing register, waiting to be categorised, I’ve emailed citizens advice. My credit score is awful. How do I find I place to live without any savings or proper job as i am self-employed. How can I claim if I am still with him? I earn very little, he earns x8 my wage.

Please be kind, I know this is my fault. It got worse after having our daughter.

OP posts:
Mumofoneandone · 03/12/2024 11:54

Really tough - not been in quite this situation before but woman's aid are probably your first port of call.
Shelter may also be able to advise.
Good luck and stay strong.

TheyDidntBurnWitchesTheyBurntWomen · 03/12/2024 11:57

Why do you not have family to stay with anymore? Has he driven a wedge between you? Could you get back in touch and explain the situation and ask for help?

LaurenAction · 03/12/2024 12:10

Please be kind, I know this is my fault. It got worse after having our daughter.

It is NOT your fault that your partner worsened his behaviour after you had his baby and it is not your fault that he doesn't want you making your own decisions Flowers

It all seems so daunting just now, so much to think about. I second the suggestion that you speak to Women's Aid, they can help you go through everything step by step.

You've done so well up to this stage, knowing you need to get out - that's a huge step, now you need real life support to achieve that. You can also speak to your GP if you are able to see them alone.

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