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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

I need some others points of view

4 replies

Jimjam78 · 01/12/2024 19:54

My children’s dad and I co parent our 2 boys (9&11). We get in well enough. His work is full on, so he only has the boys every other weekend (late Friday night Sunday evening). The rest of the time I do everything. He’s been a long job since April (which means, even if it’s his weekend but he has to work I have the kids). Before April he been on a job since September, so realistically it’s been over a year that I have been picking up all the childcare (every half term the entire summer etc etc). I just did a 3 week stretch because he went abroad with work. He finished this job on Friday and now has 2 months off. I have just embarked on a new career venture and could seriously do with him to take the reins for a bit so I can focus on it and get some long days in. He is saying that he needs to rest, go and see his folks etc… I’m feeling but like he thinks that his exhaustion is trumping my exhaustion (of bringing up 2 boys pretty much single handed for the last yr). And I’m mad. Am I being unreasonable. I feel like he thinks I can just have them all the time while he goes and has a lovely time and see them when he likes…

OP posts:
BatshitIsTheOnlyExplanation · 01/12/2024 19:56

It's not really co-parenting.

millymollymoomoo · 01/12/2024 20:04

Well I agree he probably does need a rest if he’s been on a long job

i agree you need a rest as you’ve picked up all the grunt work and the slack

he has 2 months so you need to tell him you expect him to pick up the slack for you like you have for him, but there’s also time for him to visit parents etc as well. Whether he agrees to it is another thing…::

have you actually discussed it with him, or just seething inside currently ?

Jimjam78 · 01/12/2024 20:24

@millymollymoomoo currently just seething inside. He did try to wriggle out of this weekend (very much his weekend after my 3 week stint) by asking if I could have the Saturday night as he had plans. Shut that one down straight away and he put the phone down on me because I said not a chance 🤨 I was working all weekend anyways. I haven’t said anything yet as am just waiting to see what his next move is, but he did drop them back to me tonight when he could easily have kept them and taken them to school on Monday. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt before I address but I am also very pissed off that he even dared to ask me to have them on Saturday night. It’s like he thinks it’s a walk in the park what I do. He’s never done it so wouldn’t know

OP posts:
Jimjam78 · 01/12/2024 20:26

@BatshitIsTheOnlyExplanation thats a whole other thread 😏

OP posts:
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