DIY divorce -will it be accepted?

[1NC0GNIT0]

H and I separated 4 yrs ago after 20yr marriage. He lives nearby in a tiny mortgage-free house he inherited the year before we separated. I live in, and solely own, our former marital home (mortgage-free). Our kids are independent adults. We are very friendly and communicative (will spend Christmas here as a family, etc). Always said we wouldn't involve solicitors if we split up because of fees involved!

We are now ready to divorce, as he wants to buy a house near to his gf and obvs doesn't want me to be legally tied to him/house/mortgage etc. We've completed the initial gov.uk application form together and will get a response to that within a month.

The next step is the financial arrangements form. Our finances are straightforward and we agree on them - it's pretty much 50/50 as my house is worth about the same as his final salary pension and he only has another £100k in savings. I will get a lump sum of £150k now from his pension and £18k pa in maintenance (which he's been paying me since we separated). We're only mid 50s and his retirement date is 2032. I was a SAHM due to his being abroad 70% of the time, and although I have worked on and off, I have no personal pension and no career.

[My "pension" is in the form of investments made by my dad over 35yrs ago, the interest on which my mum has been living off since he died in the 90s. It's all secure and I have regular meetings with her and the financial advisor and my share will be worth ~500k when she dies (likely within 5 yrs from now) Because it's not my money now, it can't be counted as my assets or as guaranteed income in divorce arrangements. She does have other assets in order to finance care/assistance if it becomes necessary]

My question is : if we write explanatory notes on the financial form, will the court/judge accept that we have sorted it out without coersion/bullying and sign it off? A solicitor acquaintance has suggested we do mediation sessions to show 'good intent'. We really don't feel it's necessary but will that go against us? We genuinely grew apart and no longer want to be together and would rather avoid a protracted case involving solicitors and £££

Thank you for any useful advice, sorry to ramble!

Don’t bother paying for legal advice (yet). Me and my ex did an online divorced using a fixed fee online solicitor, filled in the financial forms as best we could. The judge questioned whether it was fair to one party (it seemed slightly one sided but there were good reasons), therefore the other party wrote a letter explaining the situation and we both signed it. It was then accepted with no further queries. It was very amicable and neither of us used independent solicitors.

Also did an online divorce and the judge called us in for a meeting to check there was agreement and no coercion and. We had to explain why we had agreed what looked like an unfair split.

He asked a few questions and signed it off.

It seems weighted in your favour a lot tbh

have you both had independent legal advice? Usually you’d both be required to evidence you had

@millymollymoomoo what do you mean by weighted? We haven't had independent legal advice...is that actually a requirement for the divorce to be approved? There's so many myths and stories told that we're struggling to work out exactly what is true! We consider our affairs to be really straightforward, there really is very little money involved, and none of the things that make divorces complicated like children or property

Myself and EH took no legal advice through our divorce other than what was required to obtain a certified signature for the TR1 when I took on sole ownership of the house. We wrote and co-signed (with witnesses) a statement regarding the very simple financial split (no children, so I bought him out for an agreed figure and we both agreed to not touch anything else such as each others savings and pensions etc. I am aware that this is not a formal financial statement but it was accepted.

There is/was a risk that this could still be challenged after our divorce was finalized however I believe re-marriage of either party can adjust this also.

Not to be distasteful but divorce only really becomes hugely costly when it is protracted and complex - if you have the money available I would be inclined to pay the relatively small amount to have your paperwork produced with watertight accuracy.

You can agree to whatever you want, in summary, as long as you both agree fully - there is nothing to say it has to be equally or subjectively 'fair' as such.

In order for divorce and financial settlement to be completed you need to get a court order. A judge will look at what is proposed and may or may not agree it. The most likely reason not to agree it is because they don’t think it is fair or a party is not acting with informed advice.

It is not particularly clear what the value of the assets are from your post. The most contentious issue for the judge will be award of spousal maintenance. Is it intended to be £18k for ever or just till he retires? When does he intend to retire? Have you considered how this will affect you? If you are going to get £18k pa for ever then you have a share of his pension and might not be a good deal for him.

All this might be clear and worked out in which case it will look fair to the judge. If it isn’t her will ask you both to get advice.

You can still get a job on your 50’s. You have a number of years before retirement.

@LemonTT
Thank you, that makes sense. We hadn't considered the open-endedness of the maintenance (it was he who suggested it, and the amount) but it would prevent there being a "clean break" and would be an outgoing to be considered when he wants another mortgage.

Do you think it would be better to just increase the size of the pension lump sum (currently suggested 15%) to cover the maintenance for 5 years (the time that he proposed he pay it for)?

He does own a small rental property which he bought last year with some inherited money and a 5 year mortgage. It's intended to be an additional income source for when he retires in his early 60s.

We do want a "clean break" and it's simpler for him to give me a larger pension % than to divide the other assets he has. Awarding it as a lump sum also means it's safe in the event of his death soon after retirement.
I literally only own my house and have no savings (they went on clearing the mortgage so the house could be transferred into my name), or private pension, or much earning potential. I can and do work but for a variety of reasons cannot work full time and my pre-children job/career no longer exists within the marketplace!

You can download template financial orders and fill them in/submit them to court yourself. The judge did ask questions and wanted reassurance by letter that we’d both had the opportunity to take legal advice, but then signed it off.

You do not need independent legal advice.

If the split is visibly not fair then it would be a good idea to explain why it is visibly unfair.

I would recommend a clean break if possible.

We used a service that writes up the court paperwork for you.

We did it all ourselves, clean break, consent order (which was drafted by a solicitor but we agreed it all ourselves).

Thought it might not be accepted by the court as it was 27% to me, 73% to ex-DH (for a variety of reasons...his inheritance and a property he had before we were together - I was probably 'entitled' but I wasn't interested in what wasn't mine) but it went straight through no issue.

Contrary to other posters, I actually would seek legal advice to make sure your needs are being met because I actually think you might be entitled to more as your earning capacity will be significantly less than his due to your years as a sahp/part-time. You don’t necessarily need to have a lawyer take you through the whole process but it’s worth having a quick chat to get a sense of what you might be entitled to before you settle if he’s a high earner. It’s hard to say if 50:50 on assets and £18k in sm is a reasonable split or not without knowing your living costs, your previous lifestyle and your respective incomes. It could be unbalanced in either direction.