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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

When will it get easier?

6 replies

ItsyWincy · 28/11/2024 14:48

Every difficult stage I go through I keep telling myself- once this is over it will all be easier. Then it's slightly less stressful for a few days and then the next thing comes and hits me.

First it was agreeing on the finances. Then finding a house. Then getting quotes on work needed. Then renegotiating the price. All of these things have been a massive source of anxiety for me. I don't know what I would do without work to distract me.

Now I'm so worried and anxious that taking me off the current mortgage is going to delay me purchasing my new house. I'm scared that it will delay things so much that it will fall threw. I'm scared to talk to the estate agents and ask them what stage the vendors are upto with their onward chain because I don't want that to hurry them up which would put more pressure on me.

My STBX is being cooperative but very slow due to his own stress levels. He hasn't even got a solicitor yet to do the legal form for getting me off the mortgage yet. I can't do that for him as he has to apply for me to be taken off.

I feel like the level of anxiety and stress I have is not sustainable but I don't know what else to do. I have weekly therapy. I'm keeping up with work, friends and exercise. I'm distrusting of light at the end of the tunnel because I feel like there's all these other stressful steps that I have to go through that I am only aware of once I am in them.

Thanks in advance for any kind of support.

OP posts:
OhShitImNearly40 · 28/11/2024 15:07

Sounds like you two are doing well! It's not an easy road but if everything is, even slowly, moving forward without big blockers then you'll just need to be patient. Not much else to do!

ItsyWincy · 28/11/2024 15:11

I just asked chat gpt how long it takes to get taken off mortgage and it said 3 to 4 months but it was about a month ago that my house accepted my offer, so I feel like we are 2 months behind. Will they be willing to wait 2 extra months?...I have no idea and don't want to ask.

OP posts:
OhShitImNearly40 · 28/11/2024 15:25

What's the rush?

OhShitImNearly40 · 28/11/2024 15:26

Oh your new place? Well if they're confident sellers they'll wait. Otherwise I'm sure you'll find somewhere else. Might even be nicer!

ItsyWincy · 28/11/2024 16:34

If I don't get this one I can't make an offer on another house until the next tax year as my salary has fluctuated. I've already spent almost a grand on solicitor fees, mortgage advisor fee, survey and getting quotes.

They accepted my offer within days of my current mortgage offer being expired.

OP posts:
ItsyWincy · 28/11/2024 16:47

I have to get taken off current mortgage to be on the new one.

OP posts:
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