Cafcass

[Singlemummy78]

Hi everyone just wanted to see if anyone went through anything similar. So this is the 2nd time I'm seeing cafcass. The last time was over 10 years ago after my ex took me to court over access to the children. The cafcass women was awful. She was rude and used my words against me and it actually felt like she was his solicitor and made a report against me. Anyway the judge said the kids need to see their "dad" for 6 hours every 2 weeks. Fast forward the kids hate going to see him the. My son who's 14 sees him on n off every otherweek and I've not given them a time limit but he's home after 2-3 hours. My daughter aged 12 refuses to see home however snd apparently that's my fault. This is now gone to court and like I said I've got an appointment (telephone meeting) in 2 weeks. Any advice or hints what to expect. Like I said I'm not stopping the contact but I won't force her to go. Love to hear from anyone who's been thru anything similar. Thanx in advance

Aim the conversation towards the things you have done to facilitate contact. Don’t shit-talk your ex. Focus on the logistics.

Yeah this, and unfortunately to a point you do have to “force” the contact if he is making himself available for it. Children are not adults, they don’t get to make those big decisions and if you’re not careful you could be accused of parental alienation.

I have been told by Children's services, my family law team and the police that children of 12 and 14 do not have to be 'forced' to attend contact visits. They are children, but if they are trying to tell you how much they dislike spending time with someone by their actions, then I would listen to them.

However, in my context there is evidence of emotional and physical abuse. Although I think the fact that a child refuses to go to a parent should be evidence enough really.

I encourage support and promote contact. Unfortunately, my child is refusing, and I cannot see where I can do more 😔

I told them I would love my children to see their dad I really would like a social life sadly he let them down so often they refuse to go...

@Singlemummy78 I have sent you a private message!

So update I've just had the email from cafcass about their initial report. Basically my ex has I've told my son to not see his dad and not stay over, obviously this is just lies but it's in the report. She's suggested we go to the court and get parenting classes, like why do I need parenting classes I've been doing it for 25years. ( my eldest is 25) just makes me so angry that I haven't done anything and I'm being taken to court over it!!!😤