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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

STBXH being rough with DS

8 replies

Sparklevibe · 15/11/2024 19:03

I’m soon leaving my STBXH who has been emotionally abusive. During the divorce this escalated to kicking over furniture, blocking me from leaving rooms, shouting, swearing, looming over me. I went to the police really to log it because I felt it might escalate more & then it would be useful to have had contact with them already so they knew the background. They asked if he’s been like that with DS (8) & he hasn’t ever hit him (or me) but he has been rough with him, pushed him, shouted & sworn at him. I didn’t want this referred to social care because I fear that a police officer or social services talking to him would escalate things more, but it has been & now I have to talk to a social worker this week. I am in a panic for 2 reasons & can’t think straight. First I am panicking social services will turn up here & talk to STBXH just when I am trying to leave & I am scared of his response. But I am also now panicking because after I leave I won’t be here; he wants 50/50. And just having a social worker leave a message has made me terrified maybe I have been minimising it all along & need to protect DS more. But how do I do that when I am not here?

OP posts:
bombastix · 15/11/2024 19:07

Your ex is a bastard.

Stick to the facts with the social worker, who will be speaking to this person without you present. Your son will say what he thinks about his dad. What incidents do you know of?

Grown men who are rough with children are seeing what they can get away with. He should have supervised contact if any.

Sparklevibe · 15/11/2024 19:09

I don’t think the social worker is planning to speak to him, just me. But I don’t know.

OP posts:
Marblesbackagain · 15/11/2024 19:11

Please for your child sake tell the police.

Sparklevibe · 15/11/2024 19:12

I have told the police. I said in my OP.

OP posts:
Marblesbackagain · 15/11/2024 19:15

Sorry block of text so I missed it. Apologies.

bombastix · 15/11/2024 19:16

Sparklevibe · 15/11/2024 19:09

I don’t think the social worker is planning to speak to him, just me. But I don’t know.

They will be checking your fitness to parent and protect your son. They will speak to him

Sparklevibe · 15/11/2024 19:20

My fitness or his or both?

OP posts:
Sparklevibe · 15/11/2024 19:20

And how do I protect him when I am not here?

OP posts:
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