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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Absent Husbands Debts advice

14 replies

stilldontunderstand · 15/11/2024 16:47

Hi, looking for any advice please. Husband of 30 years walked out 3 months ago, usual story been having an affair with woman 30 years younger! He didn't even bother to try to fight for our marriage - just left and I've not seen him since!
I am in the family home, which is up for sale, he promised to send half of the monthly outgoings including mortgage (which he hasn't done )
I've now started to get letters for him to the family home, debt letters for all sorts of credit cards, letters for defaulted car finance, a CCJ.. it's mounting up!!

I need to know how I can legally seperate myself from this.. I don't want bailiffs turning up at my door ... the house market is slow, I could be in this situation for a long time and I'm worried that his debt (registered to this address) is only going to get worse.
Had anybody any advice please? Thanks

OP posts:
suburberphobe · 15/11/2024 16:51

God, so sorry to read this OP. Must be awful.

I'd say time to take the bull by the horns and deal with the fall-out. Hard I know.

Sorry I can't be of help, don't live in UK.

Doggymummar · 15/11/2024 16:52

My ex did this to me too. He even remortgaged the house and took loans on it. I had to pay half of those, but unsecured ones I didn't. I severed myself my writing to all the credit agencies with a copy of the divorce decree.

BrieHugger · 15/11/2024 16:57

You need to give his creditors his new address and close any joint accounts. Financial disassociation is key. The lenders could put a charging order against your house so time is of the essence before your own credit score is impacted. What a shitbag. Do you have children living with you?

Original poster
stilldontunderstand · 15/11/2024 17:10

No, no children luckily, the problem is that I don't have his new address, the OW lives in Poland and I'm assuming he is with her .. he wouldn't survive without somebody stroking his ego ... he hasn't been in touch at all other than a couple of WhatsApp messages when he first left ... I'm worried that his creditors won't believe me - I've messaged him to tell him the letters are here but he says to ignore them! I'm obviously desperate for the house to sell so that I can have a fresh start and a new address not connected to him .. before any charging orders get put against it

OP posts:
Original poster
stilldontunderstand · 15/11/2024 17:12

Doggymummar · 15/11/2024 16:52

My ex did this to me too. He even remortgaged the house and took loans on it. I had to pay half of those, but unsecured ones I didn't. I severed myself my writing to all the credit agencies with a copy of the divorce decree.

We're not divorced yet sadly, it's only been 12 weeks since he left .. I don't have any divorce paperwork to show anybody

OP posts:
grannycab · 15/11/2024 17:16

Don't open them, and return them to the sender saying - not at this address. That's what i would do.

5FeetToBeExact · 15/11/2024 17:22

grannycab · 15/11/2024 17:16

Don't open them, and return them to the sender saying - not at this address. That's what i would do.

This isn't good advice though if the debts are signed to the house or mortgage, or if they're marital assets (like cars etc).

These will be jointly owned due to being married so the OP may well be 50% liable for these things.

grannycab · 15/11/2024 17:32

5FeetToBeExact · 15/11/2024 17:22

This isn't good advice though if the debts are signed to the house or mortgage, or if they're marital assets (like cars etc).

These will be jointly owned due to being married so the OP may well be 50% liable for these things.

Show quote history

Never been in htis situation thankfully, so even if the debts are not hers she is 50 percent liable as they are married? That is a very tricky situation and I had no idea. That makes it very complicated to deal with.

BeeCucumber · 15/11/2024 17:38

Are they joint debts?

Original poster
stilldontunderstand · 15/11/2024 18:57

BeeCucumber · 15/11/2024 17:38

Are they joint debts?

No none of them are joint debts ... they're credit cards that he's taken out whilst he was cheating for the year prior to me finding out .. I didn't even know he had them until
i opened these letters! I did know about the car finance, surprise surprise he got a new sports model car last year just as the midlife crisis affair started ... that's just in his name and I always thought he was paying the instalments on time

OP posts:
Doggymummar · 15/11/2024 19:01

Check you credit report as my husband took them out fraudulently on the house and in my name.

Greentreesandbushes · 15/11/2024 19:03

Ask for a mortgage payment holiday if struggling. Do you know where he is staying? Put letters into post box saying not at this address” now xxxx adding new address.

BeeCucumber · 15/11/2024 19:52

Return all letters regarding his debts to sender. I assume you have a joint mortgage so you are “financially associated”. I would seek legal advice and speak to your mortgage provider as soon as possible.

TheFormidableMrsC · 15/11/2024 20:49

I had this except we'd been divorced for several years. My ex and OW moved out of her property and they didn't pay utilities, mobile phone bills, overdrafts etc. Because I haven't been able to remove him from the mortgage (a long "other" story), they came to me. I had a ton of correspondence and a bailiff on the doorstep. I was able to show we were divorced, I gave his forwarding address and mobile number, a court order showing he had no claim on the house and my decree absolute. I was really worried at the time. I also did a notice of disassociation for credit reference agencies. All correspondence stopped immediately. I've never been so bloody angry.

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