Child custody battle 11 month old help!

[Boymumxxxx]

So my narcissistic ex is taking me to court to try to get 50/50 contacting my son. He has two older children (one he doesn’t see from choice) and another one. He only sees that one every other weekend but now wants my baby half of the time to try to hurt me. That is the only reason as I know him very well. Just found out he’s has been seeing other girls begind my back. Seeing us all at that same time and he can’t cope that he’s been caught. Never admitted he’s done it or apologised as I was always the one who got accuse of cheating even though I was faithful!!

anyway. Does anyone know if he will be granted this? I am a student so able to have my son in the day times as I don’t go into uni much. He works full time. I’m not sure if they will give him what he wants or not. He’s not willing to negotiate at all on times/days etc. it’s his way or court. Please help

You are not in his head.
But think how he will present
.as an involved parent who wants to parent 50 50 it s fantastic commitment

Of course your baby is little but without any evidence of abuse etc then his cheating and your interpretation of his motives has no sway.

Just present what is best for the child.

Full committed separated parents looks fantastic on paper so go along....
If he trying to just get at you it may naturally evolve if you show no response and do not engage and feed his narcissistic aims

Say yes fabulous BTW you are responsible for providing all clothes nappies food entertainment at your place

Does he see the baby now? Little and often is recommended when they're small, to build a bond and then increase the residency over time.

Well I’ve certainly known it to be ordered from that age

but it will depend on how both of you demonstrate what is /is not in the best interests of the child and how this ( or some other arrangement) will be the most likely to achieve that

if it’s not awarded now it’s possible they’ll set you on a path to it over a year or two

what is your counter proposal for arrangements ?

Have you received paperwork from the court? If not it’s probably an idle threat so many of them make. How is he going to have your baby 50/50 if he works full time?

Put it out of your mind unless you receive something from the court. Most men who threaten this don’t follow through, they are too lazy to parent half the time.

How does he propose 50/50 working if he works full time? How much does he see him at the moment?

It's difficult, I'd be against 50/50 at such a young age because babies need a primary caregiver and a routine, but as he starts to get older 50/50 could be the goal. Having an equal relationship with both is parents is important!

For those saying he can’t if he works full time - I worked full time like a lot of other parents - it’s called grandparents/child minders/ nursery !!

perfectly reasonable

@millymollymoomoo I totally get that (I work FT too as does DH), but why would you use childcare when the OP is around all the time and wants to look after him?

Because he’s the dad? And op will also have to work at some point ?

im not suggesting it’s right or wrong in this case. We don’t know and only have op view. I’m just saying that it’s perfectly possible to be a good parent and work full tine ! And that working ft does not preclude 50:50

op needs to work out what her counter proposal is and also a timeframe for what 50:50 could look like in case it comes to it especially as child gets a bit older

It is just a threat. If he is not bothered about his other two children, he won't care much about his third child either. The novelty will die off soon

My Ex is also threatening this again.
It’s about the money for him though. He said if he got 50/50 then I wouldn’t get a penny from him.
He’s not thinking about the welfare of our child.
The child in question is 11 and trying to please us both so if it went to court, I would be hard pushed to find a reason for him not getting 50/50 and I’m almost at the point of just giving him it.
it absolutely breaks my heart.