Once again I'm sat in bed absolutely disappointed, but not shocked at all by my husbands actions.
The cycle goes like this...
He goes to work, goes for a couple of after work drinks and then boom, dissappears off the face of the planet. Usually, I get no update or communication as to what's happened and what time he'll be home. I always worry that something has happened...is this the time hes fallen in a ditch?? When I call and IF he answers, I get told because its now late (past midnight at least, but usually 3am) he is now going to stay with work colleagues in town. The next day he comes home (usually after 5pm when he's gone from the colleagues house straight to work) hes hungover and remorseful. We talk, I say how upset I am. He says sorry and that he won't do it again. 3-4 weeks passes, I start to believe him and then boom happens again.
It's been 10 years of this. I just can't take it anymore. We have 2 children and I do 90 % of the childcare, the other 5% is my mum and the last 5% him if he needs to collect the kids from school when im working late. I just no longer see why im putting up with this. I don't trust anything he says anymore.
I'm terrified of separating with two young kids but have come to the realisation the only benefit he is bringing me is financial. He offers almost zero emotional support, I feel very unloved. Most days he doesnt even ask how my day is, apparentlyi shouldnt wait to be asked. He will walk in sit on the sofa, scroll on his phone and wait fot dinner to be ready. ...and now im past the point of resentement for the sheer physical and mental load of carrying this family. He has a good job and works full time and I'm part time because our kids are small.
Does anyone have any positive stories of separating and going it alone with 2 kids. What gave you the courage? I feel so sad but also can't imagine still putting up with the way our relationship is in 10 years and hoping at 31 I will still have a life beyond this...x
Sorry that this turned out to be so long...