Now do people pay for their divorce and extras?

[tellmesomethingtrue]

I work part-time and have only £1k in savings. STBEXH has about £15k in an ISA that is locked away for a year. This is 'family' money but in his name. The solicitor I have instructed for the divorce and related matters (finances/mids) is going to invoice me monthly. When I get through my savings, how will I pay the solicitor? STBEXH doesn't want anything to do with this.
I thought I'd be able to pay a solicitor bill at 'the end' from the house sale so it comes out of the assets. What do other people do?
We are living in the same house but separated 5 months ago. At beginning of divorce process.

*How

I meant how do people pay?

*kids

Not mids!! Aarh

I wouldn’t bother with a solicitor as you can file for divorce online at the gov. Uk website for £593. Then try mediation to sort finances or if you agree on finances just get the solicitor to draw up a financial consent order which you can then submit to the court yourself. Check out the divorce section of the gov.uk website as all the necessary court forms are on there. Check out Wikivorce lots of great free advice on there. What state are you at with things? Has the divorce application been submitted to the court? Do you agree on how the finances and property should be divided? Are there kids involved?

As for paying you will quickly run out of money if you only have £1k - solicitors can charge up to £350 ph. Most solicitors give a 30min free initial appointment so make use of that at as many firms as you can in the first instance.

If you can afford to pay from your salary then that is how you would pay. If not there is maintenance pending suit - spousal maintenance paid to you from your soon to be ex until the final financial order is made. However, you’d need to apply to the court for maintenance pending suit.

So the best option may be to try to do as much without a solicitor as possible if that is viable for your situation.

I bought exdh out of the family home and remortgaged to an amount that would extend repayments but would cover legal fees too. It was hard but worth it.

I paid a monthly fee which we agreed. It was gruelling at times and some things needed money up front. My exH had to pay for some of the fees for various reasons, it was fault based at that time and he was higher earner. It cost me over 6K but money well spent for a good settlement. I know friends who have had to get loans and credit cards. It is so expensive if you can't agree or aren't civil.

I can't afford to pay from my salary as I only have £200 spare each month.

Credit card it is then

Could you do without a solicitor then? (at least until you’re at the point of needing to sort the finances at which point you will need legal advice) - there’s a lot of form filling and basic admin you could do yourself and it will save you £££. Has the divorce application been submitted to court? If not why not do it yourself online?

I put my divorce on a zero percent interest credit card for 24 months. When house was sold I paid off the card.

What assets are there?
if only the house and isa, I wouldn’t waste money tracking up legal fees. You should be able to do most of it yourselves.

the expectation will also be you work full time, (at least if you have kids once they’re in school)

unless your ex is high earner you’re unlikely to get spousal even in the interim period

Solicitors are expensive.

We negotiated ours ourselves and then paid a solicitor to write up the agreement.

If you go through solicitors it will cost a massive amount of money.

I have paid for mine from savings. 3k upfront into a holding account and then they take from those funds and notify me each time. It’s down by half already. I’m hoping it won’t be any more than the 3k.

Name changed for this as am very regular poster. I have spent £98,000 (so far and will be double that if it goes to final
hearing) because my ex has been truly awful This and the money he has spent could have gone to our kids.If I hadn’t had this he would have (as he hoped to ) just outspent me and left me with nothing. Egged on by his girlfriend obviously.

Savings /Credit card, or use solicitor as little as possible and try mediation?
Check you aren't eligible for legal aid? (It's sadly very rare these days)

Sorry, it's utterly rotten, especially if your spouse has plenty of cash as the power dynamic becomes very unfair

Can you work any additional hours? Have you applied for child maintenance?

And have you checked you are claiming all benefits you are entitled to now you are single?

I remember it felt desperately unfair as he left me paying all nursery costs, the whole mortgage, doing all the childcare and he had drained our joint account.

The legal system doesn't address this at all and it's a huge injustice (primarily for women)

If a solicitor won't take a credit card payment, switch to putting your general living expenses on a 0% card if you can get one. I do that with all my shopping, petrol etc and then using my 'cash' for things that need it. Make the minimum payment each month and there won't be interest.

I'm using my credit card too for day to day living as I actually find it easier to keep track of what I'm spending. I came from a marriage where I never had to worry about that. I'm also being driven to high legal costs by an ex who himself has near unlimited funds to spend on legal costs.

But if you pay off the minimum on your credit card each month you will still have interest won't you?

Not if you get a 0% interest deal - usually have to apply for a new card, but I have one from HSBC and it's got 20 months interest free on it.

Idk why people are recommending credit cards as a means to fund this. It’s unnecessary. Do this instead:

First:

a) phone child maintenance service and give them the ex’s details.
b) freeze any joint savings accounts
c) open a current account in your sole name and have your earnings paid into it
Tell HMRC to pay child benefit into your private current account and check with them if you’re entitled to any benefits.
d) if you own a house together he is still liable for his contribution to the mortgage since it is a matrimonial asset and will be likely shared upon divorce

Then proceed as follows:

1. Submit divorce application online by gov.uk website.
2. Get full financial disclosure from your ex and once you’re in possession of all his financial info have a one off fixed fee appointment with a solicitor to find out what the range for a reasonable settlement in your case will be - you will then know what line to take when agreeing the finances.
3. Agree finances (after financial disclosure and with mediation if necessary).
4. Get solicitor to draw up financial consent order.
5. Apply for conditional order for divorce (decree Nisi) yourself online. Once conditional offer of divorce granted you can….
6. Submit financial consent order to court with appropriate forms yourself.
7. Once financial consent order approved by judge apply for final order of divorce (decree absolute)
8. Job done in most of cases. All forms available on gov.un website. Total cost approx 1-3k.

Y’all can thank me later.

However, if the ex won’t agree finances via mediation and/or refuses to participate in financial disclosure it will need to go to court and the costs then become an entirely idifferent matter and you will need, at the least, a direct access barrister, but if the stakes are high then a solicitor to deal with finances only. The divorce paperwork and children matters you can still self represent though to save you some money at least. Total cost to take it to court with solicitors £35k.

I spent £10-12k on my first divorce and had a solicitor for finances only and it went to court. This was over decade ago though. My first ex spent £100k on fees.

Trust me when I say the only person who benefits from it going to court is the solicitors - they will take what money there is and leave you both broke. Avoid if you can.

No I haven't checked. We are still living together and he is paying most bills as he earns so much more.

Regarding his ISA being locked away, that isn’t entirely true, if it’s an emergency and he needs to access that money, the bank can release it without penalty, I have just done this to pay for half a bill stbxh insisted I pay immediately (rather than when we sell the house like previously agreed). However if it s solely in his name, I don’t think there’s a lot you can do.
Regarding the solicitors fees, find one, talk to them about their pricing, and your situation, tell them you want a clean break divorce. Mine certainly is not £350 an hour, not sure where people are getting their prices from! It’s not cheap but can be arranged with talking to an experienced family solicitor.

My fees were £22k and were paid from the house sale, his were about £40k try to agree if you can.

Credit card, loan, working extra hours. Was also left with entire mortgage and personal loan that he took out in both our names.
He paid nothing. Didn’t turn up to court twice cost me over £10k in the end and that was with a ‘cheap’ solicitor.
My friends easy and amicable divorce cost £7k.
No one tells you before you get married how hard and expensive it is to get out of