He's not filing the divorce

[Helpmybrainsmelted]

My husband has been awful to me we got back together after a separation and for the entire period been unpleasant. He's now said he is buying a house and moving out. I don't make him happy and he just wants to go. Marriage counselling with him was useless as he only respects his own opinion so I have given up. It's been a few months since he made his decision. I've asked him to file the divorce paperwork, offered to pay the fee but he still isn't doing it.

Anyone have any idea why he would be delaying this? It makes no sense.

Why can’t you file? The marriage has broken down

You need to take control here. Believe me, it is all about control to him.

File for divorce yourself, show him you mean it, and then you can rebuild away from him.

What’s stopping you from filing, especially as you’re happy to pay for it?

Well it'll be for money or control. Just do it yourself.

Get online and file this afternoon.

You need to start making your own plans now OP. What about putting the house on the market for starters. Do you have kids and are you in the mortgage?

I don't really know what's stopping me. I am exhausted at the moment and he is very unpleasant to me. I will do it myself but I'm more concerned about why he's dragging his heels and not doing it. I just want to be able to predict what's getting thrown at me next. My father pointed out it makes no sense that he wants to be a house before divorce as it'll then be part of the divorce then. I just don't understand it.

I do think he probably has more assets than he is letting on. But I don't really see how delaying will change that. He is buying his own house and doesn't need money from this house.

You just file it. I get you are exhausted but you need to take control here

What happens if he buys a house as a joint owner with someone else before the divorce is completed?

He would be very stupid to do that. It will be a joint asset, assuming you are in England. Make sure you get the financial order completed before the divorce is final.

I think a % of it will be a marital asset. I. Amazed he''s bought a house without a financial order/decree nisi.

He is, I suspect, trying to organise his affairs to make your cut as low as possible. Divorce him through a good solicitor ASAP.

How old are the kids? The closer they are to 18, the more likely the split will be 50/50. Could that be why he's dragging it out? If so, file yourself.

He wants / needs you exhausted and having to second guess. I think you need to start making real plans of your own.

My advice is to stop trying to understand him or get into his head. Do you have access to funds? Please get legal advice.

Your husband is fucking with your head, you can start taking back some control. Do you have family or friends close by?

Maybe he is just saying he is buying a house and he will be renting for now? Please file the paperwork yourself. If he is actually buying then you will have a better idea how much hidden assets are there and you might get some of it? Ask yourself why is it so hard to do it yourself? If you are done with the relationship then the prize at the end, your freedom, never having to deal with him and his unpleasantness should motivate you enough? Muster the courage, maybe ask the help of someone close to you to support you?

Possibly distracting you while he hides his assets, maybe he currently has more than you're aware of?

Whatever the reason, if he wants to delay it's for his benefit not yours. Get some legal advice and file ASAP.