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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Consent order NOT approved

29 replies

XmasMonkey · 08/11/2024 11:51

I know there is a lot of topics on this, so i do apologise.

I have had a letter back from the judge, saying the Consent Order has not been approved as it's unfair (in my ex's favour).

A long story short, my ex and i split 5 years ago. We had a house (in his name as i was due to go on maternity leave just before the purchase) and when the marriage broke down, i left and have rented ever since. We have 2 children together, and we have them 50/50. I have since met someone else, and i have now got the opportunity to buy a house, locally, at a very good price (it needs a lot of work).
My ex earns a lot more money than i do, has a bigger pension and has the £11k in savings. There is about £100k in the house. We have decided to settle at £11k to be paid to me. This is due to the fact that i am now in the final stages of purchasing this property and dont want it to fall through (i wont be able to afford another property as this is a bargain). So i am sending a letter to the judge from us both, explaining that i am happy with the £11k as that's what my ex has available to pay and that i need the consent order so i can purchase the property without my ex in the future, trying to make any claim on it.

Do you think the judge will be ok with this? I just want this to go through! I am panicking about this property sale falling through. This consent order application has been going on for months. I have had legal advise, but i am not using a solicitors for this consent as it was supposed to be an easy thing! I thought that if we both agreed, the judge should just let it happen. I was wrong. haha.

What do you think? I will be sending the response to the judge early next week (my ex has to sign it, and hes not very... co-operative at the best of times)

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
Original poster
XmasMonkey · 09/01/2025 10:03

LizzyLine · 09/01/2025 08:38

OP even if your ex can't pay you more in cash now (a big if) why can't he agree to pay you more in the future eg end of his current mortgage term, or five years' time or something? That would probably satisfy the judge providing, together with the £11k, it gets you closer to 50%.

If it came to this, how would this be implemented? I mean, how would the judge know that he's paid it?

OP posts:
12purplepencils · 09/01/2025 10:08

Ours was bounced back as potentially being unfair to me.
i was happy with what I agreed and had my reasons. My solicitor asked if I wanted to renegotiate with ex but I didn’t so she wrote a letter signed by both of us explaining further the reasons why. It was then agreed.

if it hadn’t been I think we would’ve had to go and see the judge in person.

Original poster
XmasMonkey · 09/01/2025 10:21

12purplepencils · 09/01/2025 10:08

Ours was bounced back as potentially being unfair to me.
i was happy with what I agreed and had my reasons. My solicitor asked if I wanted to renegotiate with ex but I didn’t so she wrote a letter signed by both of us explaining further the reasons why. It was then agreed.

if it hadn’t been I think we would’ve had to go and see the judge in person.

Wishing we had done this now! Haha. There's hope for me yet though.

OP posts:
hasanyoneseenmykeys · 10/01/2025 16:53

XmasMonkey · 09/01/2025 09:32

So originally, the amount was going to be £29k. We worked this out based on what the house was worth when I left (5 years ago). Since then, my ex has given me £6k of that to pay off a debt. So that bought it down to £23k. When the opportunity came up to buy this amazing house off my friend, I asked my ex what he had saved up of the £23k. He said £11k, and i said, i'll take £11k if he signed the paperwork now (this was back in Aug 2024) So really, this is my own fault. I thought the judge would just agree if we had agreed. Maybe if we explained that, and then put the amount back up to £29k, the judge will approve that?

I really really don't want any more than that. I left 5 years ago, i don't believe that I should be getting half of what the house is worth today.

I don't want to borrow the money from anyone to buy the house I'd like to buy before the divorce as i don't want it being part of our marital assets.

So basically you are settling for less and less, and your ex keeps moving the goal posts. If you had originally agreed to £23k (the original 29k minus the debt he paid off), then why don't you ask for 11K now and the rest upon sale of the house??

You really are massively blinkered about what you're entitled to. It's not about being unfair and trying to screw someone over. YOU are being screwed over. Because you put funds into the house, and lived in it together while raising his children. From the moment you left, you have been paying rent and getting nothing back, whereas your ex has been paying off the mortgage and continuing to build equity in a massive asset. Imagine if all those 5 years of your rent had been used for a mortgage instead - you would be in a much better position.

Your ex literally has the 11K in savings and could give it to you tomorrow to secure your house purchase. He gave you £8000 once to pay off a debt, why do you think he won't give you the £11000 now? Because he's using it as leverage to coerce you into taking a divorce settlement that is so unfair that a judge won't sign it off.

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