Help needed - struggling after breakup

[Sinkingbiscuit24]

Hi, apologies I'm going to sound all dramatic and romeo and juliet but I'm struggling with an unwanted breakup of my only relationship (10 years)

All I have now is work - shy, no kids, no friends or real hobbies so the relationship was my everything. 45 year old female so no spring chicken

Even if I could have my pick I would pick him, I feel like nobody could compare

Family try to be supportive - more to life, get a hobby, meet someone else but it just doesn't interest me especially as a shy person

What do I do? I feel like I'll be pining and regretful for the rest of my life - so lonely and I just want to turn back time and change things

Thank you for letting me vent

If this is your first ever break up, then I think the truth is that you may never get over it.
But time will allow you to live your life and find new things that interest you. Happiness will come into your life again and so will purpose. There will be a time when he isn't on your mind everyday. But for now I think it's normal that he is. You're grieving. Unfortunately the only thing that helps is time and it can be quite a long time.

It's important that you distract yourself, pull yourself out of the heartbreak. You can't dwell on it too much - fill your time. Get fit, really fit. If you don't have hobbies or a social life then focus on making money, an extra job or a promotion. It doesn't really matter.. just something to consume you and move you forward. This is an opportunity to focus on yourself and be a fantastic version of you.

My love came back after 2 years and I hadn't changed, hadn't progressed, hasn't taken on new challenges. It was a bit embarrassing as he had, and had a whole new aspect to his life. I was the same as I had been 2y previously and it felt shit. Like I had nothing to show for myself. I wished I'd used the time to progress instead of moping around. He had grown and I hadn't and it reaffirmed we weren't compatible.

Thank you MeganM3, it just feels like nothing else matters now - life now vs life with him has no comparison

He won't come back so no 2nd chance

Thank you MeganM3, it just feels like nothing else matters now - life now vs life with him has no comparison

He won't come back so no 2nd chance

Let yourself be upset. Feeling sad and alone is horrible, but fighting it just prolongs it. Expect to take time thinking things through, grieving what was and what you wanted.
Try small changes every day or week to find things you like. For example, online pilates, try a new recipe, have a look at Duolingo to learn a language. Learn what you like for you, join groups online. There's no reason to suddenly be pushed into situations that you don't like.

Thank you for your reply and sorry if I'm not replying correctly - what if this is as good as my life gets now, just memories of good times. I don't think I can cope with it and pretending to be ok

Do things for yourself...I get being shy makes it tricky but there are online options of qualifications or courses you can do. I am a member of the WI and they have virtual groups which are perfect for distant socialising! Set yourself a challenge...X amount of books to read, steps to do a day, George Clooney films to watch...