AIBU - time alone

[Pinkmom024]

Has anyone lived with their Ex whilst waiting for joint mediation meeting?

AIBU in asking for equal time at the weekend with the other person out of the house?? Eg sat morn then sun afternoon?

I've asked for this and he’s point blank refused. He won’t be told when he can and can’t enter his own house.

Argh!! 🤯

I’m at wits end. I’ve also asked for 50:50 nights in the marital bed which he’s also refused so I’m on sofa.

Do you have a spare room? Could you get an air matress in one of the kids rooms??
Or you could just get into the bed first….
But would be get in as well?

As for making him leave the house, you can’t.
You need to go out maybe to a coffee shop or gym for some alone time sadly or go to another room if you have one.

Can one of you move out?
sounds like if you’re going for mediation it’s pretty rough.

Sounds miserable, but I don't think there's much you can do legally.

Thats no way to live - just move out.

Or at least turn one of the spare bedrooms( or if you don't have any then the existing lounge) into your bedroom.

Actually I see a PP has suggested going to the gym which is a good idea no?

You could sign up, go there to get away from your ex and get toned at the same time!

I think it's unreasonable to ask for that. Just keep put of each others way.

It’s not fair on either of you to be expected to be out the house at certain times.

If you are on the sofa then surely the sitting room is your bedroom and private space now?

You both need somewhere to retreat to.

Thanks everyone ☺️ just to say I am coming from a good place. We have 3 kids together and I just thought it was important for us BOTH to have time at home with the kids. Mediation is likely to be about 4 weeks away and that will focus on fairness and start at a 50:50 share of everything.

I’m just exhausted. He won’t give me any inclination as to what he wants to happen in the future (if he’s moving out etc) all he will say is that he’s reconciled to the fact it’s over and he would like the kids 50:50

I understand how tiring it is to not feel comfortable in your own home, and having spent nine months on the floor on a mattress, how tough it is to not have your own bed. Having a bedroom that is a shared living space means you never get that space to yourself as everyone else needs to use it. I used to go to the gym, out for walks, or just go for a drive to get some space, but I've now moved out as I couldn't carry on in that limbo.

I think it would reasonable to suggest that you split the weekends and evening with who's looking after the kids. That's what I'm doing with my STBX while we still live together. He has them Tues & Weds evenings and Sunday daytime, I do the rest. He normally goes out anyway on his child free evenings to make the most of it. I'm a home body so stay in, but retreat to my bedroom to read apart from one night a week where I go to a pilates class.

I have found it works for us and it's a good transitional step for the kids as well.

Could you suggest something like that?