Husband Affair with 'best friend'

[MummabearJK]

I am struggling so much. Its only been just over a week since I found out. We are currently separated, i am at home with DS and he has gone to a relatives.

I know all the ins and outs that i needed to know. He says he need to sort himself out and grow up. He hasn't written us off but we need time. I just dont know how to cope with this. I love him, and i probably always will. We have been together 15 years and have a beautiful boy. I know what every one is saying and i understand what people are saying, move forward, focus on you, let him get on with it. But it so hard, and I am trying. Obv is more difficult with DS involved but I do, i just want him back. But i also need him to grow up and take responsibility. He was never helpful at home with 'life' of being parents. Everything was down to me, emotionally and physically.

My DS knows what has happened, obv not ins and outs but he knows. My heart breaks for him so much when he says, i want daddy to live with us. I want daddy back and all I can say is 'I know'.

I just dont want to 'let him go' - even past what he has done. He has apologised and acknowledged his actions, hence me also telling him to leave. And he wants to focus to himself, to grow up and get his S*^) together... Its just so hard :(

I dont know why I am coming to here, but i needed to get alot off my chest. I need to hear people in a similar situation to me.

Can we get back together in the future?
Will it work? Can it work?
How do I do it by myself?

He thinks so little of you that he has cheated on you but not just that, he has cheated on you with someone you know, making the humiliation even more distressing as he will have slagged you off to her.

It's a horrible shock to discover that you are not enough for him any more.

You know if he does want to make a go of it it's not because of you but so that he still lives with his son.

It's better to accept the awfulness of it all now in one big hit and empower yourself by dealing with the break up in the practical sense of finances and child care agreements etc than to have him back and live each day in torment that he is cheating behind your back again which 100% he will be doing.

You loved what you thought was him until you found out his true colours and that he has NO loyalty to you, NO respect and No longer loves you.

The sooner you accept that it's over the better you will feel in the coming weeks.

Staying together because of a shared child is always the wrong thing to do.

Can we get back together in the future?
Will it work? Can it work?
How do I do it by myself?

Only you can answer those questions. I've been married 15 years with dc13. If my dh had an affair with my bf, would I fuck get back with him.

The trust would be gone forever. I wouldn't be able to look at him and think what they did. The lies, deceit would be too much. Even if I did try and work it out, the person I am I would always resent him and I would be awful to live with.

What sort of message are you sending to your dc? You've faced a huge betrayal from 2 people who are supposed to look after you.

It's still early days. Get your ducks in a row and move on. How old is your dc?