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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Stuck in a rut or is it over?

2 replies

Dream246 · 04/11/2024 20:03

Turning to mumsnet as I literally cannot voice this out loud to anyone!

Myself and husband have been together 11 years, 2 small children and are having big problems.

To cut a long story short, myself and my MIL have butted heads over the years but I think we've worked out how to be around each other now, but anytime she has said a bitchy and unnecessary comment to me, my husband doesn't say or do anything. Am I in the wrong for hoping he would ever step in?? I feel like he's scared of his mum to be honest but that's a whole other thread...

He's fobbed me off saying he's been too busy to call the Dr's about getting the snip for 6 months and I called him out on it the other day to which he admitted he's scared/doesn't want to have an operation. Why didn't he tell me this instead of always saying he's too busy at work to call?

He's all about hus business, which is doing amazingly well. To the point where we don't date, and even if we ever do go out, he doesn't have many friends anymore as he doesn't make effort with them and he also has quit alcohol 2 years ago so very limited on what we can do. I'd love to go to a good bar and listen to some live music but I'm not going to sit and drink on my tod!

I've gotten to the point where I think the world of him but not interested in sex with him anymore and it literally just feels like we're room mates. Is this over or a terrible rut??

OP posts:
Userxyd · 04/11/2024 21:27

Tbh these are 3 quite specific fairly niche things to be thinking divorce about. How often does MIL say anything bitchy to you? And loads of men are scared of the snip- that sounds like information/reassurance needed. And re the teetotalness- good for him! Just get over it, be proud of him and your own individual life choices and enjoy a few drinks with your guaranteed lift home!
Are these really the things that are worrying you?

Dream246 · 04/11/2024 22:28

Mmm I think you're right....
There's so much that's gone on over the last few years that it would have taken a mammoth essay to explain what's got me to this point.

Re the snip, I totally understand it but I think it's more the fobbing me off for 6 months that I'm frustrated about.

Mil and I have had some huge blowouts over the years. I think honestly I'm not the DIL she wanted, someone a bit more moldable would have been preferred! Lol but yes, many many bitchy comments and I always stand up for myself. I guess I just dont understand as if it were my parents talking to him that way, I'd come down like a ton of bricks. Whenever I've questioned him on it he always says that I stand up for myself so he doesn't really need to!

OP posts:
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