Mediation costs ?

wizzdexter1 · 2024-11-02T01:52:07+00:00

We have had 2 mediation sessions which consisted of us providing financial information (putting numbers on boxes) for 3.5 hours! These numbers were then transferred to a financial disclosure document for a bargain price of £2,000! I'm just wondering if this is the going rate for a document that I could have produced my self in a couple of hours?

Tumbler2121 · 02/11/2024 02:58

I believe mediators string it out to charge as much as possible, based on my own and others experience. They also have no interest in fairness, just in getting agreement. There was less skill evident than throwing numbers very very slowly at a calculator.

I don’t know about going rate but when ex and I went to mediation we were told no need to bring or prepare anything. At the session mediator got out a flip chart and wanted us to work at the level of who got the telly (slight exaggeration but not much)

we made it clear we had had separate households for years and were there to agree on pensions etc. she then wanted me to go and pay hundreds for valuations on the house and pensions … I got the necessary figures by getting a formula from HR and talking to estate agent.

ex H then announced that he was changing his job to one that paid much less … this was accepted as fact and the new figures accepted.

we reached agreement and the next day ex phoned them to go back on it!

Original poster

wizzdexter1 · 02/11/2024 08:22

Tumbler2121 · 02/11/2024 02:58

I believe mediators string it out to charge as much as possible, based on my own and others experience. They also have no interest in fairness, just in getting agreement. There was less skill evident than throwing numbers very very slowly at a calculator.

I don’t know about going rate but when ex and I went to mediation we were told no need to bring or prepare anything. At the session mediator got out a flip chart and wanted us to work at the level of who got the telly (slight exaggeration but not much)

we made it clear we had had separate households for years and were there to agree on pensions etc. she then wanted me to go and pay hundreds for valuations on the house and pensions … I got the necessary figures by getting a formula from HR and talking to estate agent.

ex H then announced that he was changing his job to one that paid much less … this was accepted as fact and the new figures accepted.

we reached agreement and the next day ex phoned them to go back on it!

Stringing it out certainly sums it up - it's a disgrace how they are taking advantage of low point in people's lives. Our £2k financial document has errors and the mediator seemed to side with my ex on a couple of points which my solicitor agreed that this seemed to be the case. I wouldn't say it's been a complete waste of time as we now know what each other have and want but certainly not worth 2k

OP posts:

LemonTT · 02/11/2024 10:05

Of course. Mediation was developed to reduce needless adversarial behaviour when people are splitting which often causes stress to children, the people divorcing and bungs up court time with two grown ass adults arguing the toss over ownership of a tv. Seriously, it’s about stopping children suffering whilst parents become acrimonious. Something most parents can agree with.

The system in this country accepts that you are private people and you have the right to run your lives the way you want in marriage and divorce without state or court interference. Consequently you can go off and agree whatever you want. The court and state will only intervene to ensure it is done effectively (they don’t want you back in court) and without coercion, abuse or bullying.

Some people can agree it between themselves without any external input. All they then need to do is demonstrate to a judge that it won’t be challenged and there is no coercion. To do that all you need is for a solicitor to review what you agreed and explain what you are entitled to. If you knowingly decide to accept a split that is less that you might get that’s your choice. A judge will just check you got advice to make an informed decision and you are not under pressure. It is also important to be able to demonstrate the informed decision was made knowing what all the assets and needs are - hence full disclosure.

Mediation is there for when you need outside help to move through the process and negotiation. A solicitor is there to provide the qualified expert advice. Two reasonable adults with the right priorities (their children and personal MH) only need minimal input for both if they accept there will be a financial hit when splitting into two homes.

Original poster

wizzdexter1 · 03/11/2024 20:49

LemonTT · 02/11/2024 10:05

Of course. Mediation was developed to reduce needless adversarial behaviour when people are splitting which often causes stress to children, the people divorcing and bungs up court time with two grown ass adults arguing the toss over ownership of a tv. Seriously, it’s about stopping children suffering whilst parents become acrimonious. Something most parents can agree with.

The system in this country accepts that you are private people and you have the right to run your lives the way you want in marriage and divorce without state or court interference. Consequently you can go off and agree whatever you want. The court and state will only intervene to ensure it is done effectively (they don’t want you back in court) and without coercion, abuse or bullying.

Some people can agree it between themselves without any external input. All they then need to do is demonstrate to a judge that it won’t be challenged and there is no coercion. To do that all you need is for a solicitor to review what you agreed and explain what you are entitled to. If you knowingly decide to accept a split that is less that you might get that’s your choice. A judge will just check you got advice to make an informed decision and you are not under pressure. It is also important to be able to demonstrate the informed decision was made knowing what all the assets and needs are - hence full disclosure.

Mediation is there for when you need outside help to move through the process and negotiation. A solicitor is there to provide the qualified expert advice. Two reasonable adults with the right priorities (their children and personal MH) only need minimal input for both if they accept there will be a financial hit when splitting into two homes.

Thanks for the info especially regarding making a decision that might not be 50/50, many people seem to believe that the courts will only accept this. One of my neighbours is getting divorced and they amicably agreed that she would get half the house. She was more than happy with this because enable her to move on with her new partner. However the mediators told them that the court would not accept this and they would have to do 5050 which is what they are now doing, When he told me about this. I thought how ridiculous when two adults are not allowed to agree on how they want to split things up. I have since found out from my solicitor at the advice given to them was incorrect and in fact divorcing spouses can agree to whatever they like as long as they have not been coerced I believe there is case law supporting this xydius vs xydius

OP posts:

MagentaRavioli · 03/11/2024 20:52

Mediation cost about £1500 then we had to pay a solicitor to turn the agreement into a financial consent order. This is when both parties basically knew what they wanted. Lots of money to be made in divorce.