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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

The Monday Blues

1 reply

StepGranma · 29/10/2024 23:46

My step-daughter (28) has shared custody with her ex. Divorced now for 2 years. It’s a 2-2-3 arrangements where they alternate weekends. On his weekends he takes the children (7, 5 and 3) to stay at his new girlfriend’s house. The girlfriend has a son (7) who has behavioural issues for which he takes medication. The 3 children are generally good-natured and happy. But recently on the Monday’s following their weekends with their father, the oldest boy comes home from school aggressive and rude and has uncontrollable fits of crying. The father is aware of this change in behaviour. He says there is no issue at his girlfriend’s home that could be causing the problem and says my step-daughter should do her job as a mom and manage the 7-year-old. The 7-yr-old’s behaviour is also impacting on his younger brother and sister. We are looking for helpful tips/solutions from mum’s who may have experienced similar situations. The dad is actually not a bad guy. This isn’t about bashing him. We are already looking into possible counselling. But thought some mums might have interesting suggestions

OP posts:
LemonTT · 30/10/2024 13:01

I don’t think it is helpful to conclude that the issue lies within the father’s home. That’s not to dismiss the concern about the timing.

Has anyone spoken to the 7 year old ? Ideally both parents should be willing to seek some outside support so he can be given a safe space to say what is wrong and if there is an issue with either parent this is fed back in a constructive way.

Assumptions and finger pointing will maybe just make either parent defensive rather than constructive.

All parties will need to take on board that people have very different views on what constitutes bad behaviour in a child and whether or when there is a need to intervene and correct. There are a lot of parents who describe their child as boisterous or lively rather than badly behaved. Plus brothers and sisters fight and annoy each other. Some of them don’t get on. But it is rare that they are split up. Parents manage the relationship.

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