Still hit with grief and shock

[Hippychickbbbb]

I knew my marriage wasn't right yet I'm hit with ennormos grief he's filed! He won't reconsider he's done! I don't want a divorce I really don't I'm distressed alot of the time I knew deep down that this would happen! I've tried online dating but get ghosted as soon as I mention my ex which isn't fair I'm really struggling please understand

Time helps. Dating when you are distressed about another relationship won’t.

Let time and therapy heal these wounds.

Online dating before the ink is even dry on your divorce and when you still don’t even want a divorce is a terrible idea.

I was doing ok till they ghosted me I was hoping online dating would help me get over him stupid I know now

I’m sorry for what you’re going through but in the nicest possible way you’re wrong about this.

I've tried online dating but get ghosted as soon as I mention my ex which isn't fair

It is fair and right. You are in no way ready to start another relationship. It’s not particularly fair on the people you’re chatting to so I’m glad they run a mile when they get sense of what’s really going. Otherwise others might get hurt purely because you want the ego boost of getting some people interested in you?

From what I hear, online dating is BRUTAL. And, as others have said, you are in no way ready for another relationship.

Can you invest in counselling? Develop strategies for 'sitting with your pain'? Watch some YouTube videos by others who have been 'let go'?

There is no easy way of getting through this. Ultimately you have to find a way of becoming self-sufficient, not having to rely on others for happiness, learning to self-soothe, finding contentment in your own self.

Distractions can help. Music, art, walking, book clubs, running........ whatever floats your boat. Anything to stop you ruminating endlessly and doing things that risk hurting you more.

You’re extremely vulnerable and seem to be lacking in support, please don’t waste energy trying to date. It’s a good thing he’s initiated the divorce, it’s been brewing a long time. Focus on your health, your young daughter, self care. Divorce can be a long process, it’s almost always complicated and difficult, but you’re hopefully on a better path nor IF you concentrate on the right things.

Dating this quick is not healthy or sensible. You need to deal with your divorce, mourn your marriage ending and learn to be on your own.

Dating won't help at this point even though it's what everyone suggests you do.
If you met someone for a while & then broke up you would face all these feelings then & it would probably feel just as bad if not worse
There are no quick fixes I'm afraid. You have to sit with the pain, recognise it for what it is & work through it.
The old adage about time being the greatest healer is true & it does get easier with time.

Therapy is also good but not everyone can afford that; I couldn't.
But there is a lot of advice to be found online and seeking support from friends & family also helps.

Keep the faith, you will survive this xx

It's not a good thing he initiated the divorce i never wanted it ever it's jenny and Cody who screwed it up I should have have involved them just Debbie

you don’t sound like you are in a good place, @Hippychickbbbb - what has been happening since you posted last year….. Can we help?