Hi everyone,
I had a baby 9 months ago, a beautiful baby girl. I love her but I’m completely off my husband. Everything he does annoys me. I’m bored out of my mind and I loathe him for the most minor things.
Before she was born, our marriage was on the rocks. He pressured me into having and keeping her with things like, fertility is off a cliff at 34 etc. I take full responsibility through for the life I’ve brought into the world and I’m delighted with my child, the problem is him.
I met him and married young. We had a few problems with his mother, who is a real bully, along the way. She puts me down and talks over me, copies my clothes and has really caused an issue since our wedding day. The wedding day, is another problem but his family behaved badly then.
A few years ago, I had an emotional affair with a colleague. We got on like a house on fire. He was engaged and planning his wedding so I broke it off because it was a) immoral b) unfair to all parties and c) because I had hoped in a fantasy land we’d both end up together. A year ago, he told me his marriage has failed and he’d had a perfect vision of how things had been and he’d messed it up. By that point, I was pregnant and I stick up my guns that he was a womaniser who was saying these things for sex. He also used to make sexually inappropriate comments at work and I know that he’s slept with a few people whilst being engaged so I was put off my that. He also told me he did want to marry his fiancé and wanted to have his cake and eat it…..enough said. Since the baby has been born he’s sent me a few messages but all about himself, nothing to see how I am or how my daughter is. He is 12 years older than me.
Since our daughter has been born there are many happy days but I feel so lonely and full of resentment to my husband. I’m having therapy to work in a hugely traumatic child which I thought was affecting my ability to separate my childhood from my in laws situation.
I just want to be happy but I don’t really know how I can be. I fantasise about being a single mother and I sometimes wish I’d walked away, but I never had the strength of character to do so. Everytime I told my husband I needed space we sort of ended up patching it up.
Does anyone else have any advice on marriage when they’ve had a baby? I married young and have an awful feeling that in a few years, a separation or divorce is the only answer but being a single mother aged 35 scares me.
sorry for the rant but I just want to be happy. We’ve been to marriage counselling .