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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

He doesn't want or care for the house but wants it just to spite me

8 replies

cantthinkofausernametoadd · 29/10/2024 08:24

Exactly that. Marriage was over the minute my youngest was born- he chose his moment to check out of the relationship and has been stalling doing anything about it ever since. In the time we've been together, I used my small inheritance for renovation works, etc. as he was very good at convincing me that he was willing to give it "another go". I've spent a fortune on the upkeep of the house and still do. He's a high earner and has been unemployed for the last 6 months which has meant I've been doing two jobs to bring in enough money to cover nursery fees for the children, mortgage, bills and credit card payments. He was offered a job yesterday and all of a sudden this morning, he spilled something and refused to clean it up "because it's not my house". This is what he does to punish me on a regular basis. In the same breath, he said he'll take me to court to take it all away from me. He doesn't care that the children are watching and get upset by his outbursts. I don't know what to do anymore. I have felt suicidal before but won't act on anything as I can't trust him with the children- they won't get a look in past his phone and social commitments.

OP posts:
notatinydancer · 29/10/2024 09:40

If it's not his house he can just leave.
Divorce him and get it all over with.

Illingworth · 29/10/2024 09:57

God he’s childish isn’t he in his refusal to clean it up and exposing the children to his nastiness to punish you? Diddums is angry and lashing out. He’s pathetic.
Ducks in row and consult a very experienced lawyer OP.
Don’t feel suicidal. Feel your power. Don’t let him bully or defeat you.

cantthinkofausernametoadd · 29/10/2024 13:54

Thank you both. He's been out of a job for the past 6 months and is in shitloads of credit card debt (£25K that I know of). I really wish he'd walk out without a backwards glance and I'd happily take it all on but he won't. He's going to make this really, really hard for us all.

OP posts:
cantthinkofausernametoadd · 29/10/2024 13:55

@notatinydancer- we're joint owners of the house. He saw a mug and took full advantage.

OP posts:
cantthinkofausernametoadd · 29/10/2024 13:56

Illingworth · 29/10/2024 09:57

God he’s childish isn’t he in his refusal to clean it up and exposing the children to his nastiness to punish you? Diddums is angry and lashing out. He’s pathetic.
Ducks in row and consult a very experienced lawyer OP.
Don’t feel suicidal. Feel your power. Don’t let him bully or defeat you.

He's the 'needy' person in the marriage right now so the judge would probably order the sale of the house or ask me to leave and buy him out which I can't afford. I need him to be in a job so I can start divorce proceedings. Right now, we can't even afford to divorce.

OP posts:
2Sensitive · 29/10/2024 14:06

cantthinkofausernametoadd · 29/10/2024 13:54

Thank you both. He's been out of a job for the past 6 months and is in shitloads of credit card debt (£25K that I know of). I really wish he'd walk out without a backwards glance and I'd happily take it all on but he won't. He's going to make this really, really hard for us all.

He needs bought out of the house if it's a joint mortgage, to pay his debts.

If you're married, they are your debts too 🥴

permanently · 29/10/2024 14:10

I had to pay half my ex husband's credit card debts.
Harden your heart and get a hard faced divorce lawyer.
You will be shocked at how horrible he will be during the split. But your freedom will be so worth the pain xx

PaminaMozart · 29/10/2024 14:19

I get your upset - you have every right to be - but you have to focus and plan your exit.

Wikivorce
Divorce for Dummies
Family lawyers websites

Gather all financial documentation, including investments, tax returns, debts and pensions - everything. Make a list of all the things you have spent money on from your inheritance. Look at Form E.

Then see a competent family solicitor.

And keep your eye on the price - freedom from this useless leech.

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