Settlement proposal seems unfair

[User129]

Hi everyone, my ex has been verbally and physically abusive to myself and the kids and has proposed a settlement offer which feels unfair. He said that if I do not accept we would have to go into mediation but I cannot mediate with him. Has anyone been in the same experience and been able to bypass the mediation stage to take it straight to court?

Go to a lawyer. Do not listen to your ex. He does not have your best interests at heart and his 'settlement' will only benefit him. You need to protect your own interests. He is not your friend.

I believe you are entitled to legal aid if you are leaving a relationship due to DV. Contact Rights of Women or Womens aid for advice. They also have lists of lawyers who are experienced in helping victims of abuse

Mediation isn’t generally appropriate if there has been abuse.

Get proper legal advice. If he is abusive you cannot trust a thing he says

If there is dv mediation won’t be deemed appropriate and won’t be required.

however that doesnt mean the offer is unfair or unreasonable. We simply don’t know here.

if you know what assets there are then you can judge that and a solicitor will guide you.

If there has been abuse, mediation is not recommended. Your solicitor can negotiate a settlement on your behalf prior to Court. Do not engage him directly, nothing he says is for your benefit.

I was in the same position.

He proposed this new financial setup that would apparently be in my and the kids’ best interests; and I would get way more that if we ‘let strangers sort our lives out’. In reality, he can see that I’ve moved on, don’t need him and am much happier in every way without him. This would simply allow he to maintain control over one aspect of my life.

I have an amazing solicitor, who was patient when I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do (nearly 30 years together created quite the pattern of abuse that I found difficult to break) but remained 100% sure that a proper divorce procedure was the only way forward.

Because of our history and the kind of person he is; the solicitor applied to skip mediation altogether and go straight to the first hearing; which is coming up soon.
We’ve just exchanged all of our documents (his are missing quite a lot) and I haven’t heard from him since!

I can’t wait to be completely free of him and this is the only way. The only person an agreement like that would benefit is them.