Advice needed

[user1583]

So, I recently found out my husband has been having an affair with another woman. This is not the first time, unfortunately, so I have asked him to move to his mother’s. We have both discussed what we think went wrong and agreed that this can’t be fixed. The thing is, he is still seeing the woman he cheated on me with, she has met my kids, they go out and do fun things (which I would have previously done with them), go back to her house for tea and come back to me all happy. I feel terrible because I want them to be happy, but I’m really struggling being the one left behind and hearing all about what they’ve been doing. I’m really worried that my children will start to feel like they don’t want to come home because I’m so miserable, but I don’t know how to feel better. Any advice appreciated.

Lost and alone

Hey 👋🏼 First of all, put the kettle on and just sit for a minute. I’m guessing the kids will be in bed by now. Those babies, no matter how old they are and will ever be, will always be YOUR babies! I know it’s hard having someone you trusted go behind your back and be unfaithful and to put icing on it he’s flaunting his happy new life in your face.Jerk. But he’s not the one for you and it’s actually a blessing to have those ones leave your life. May not feel like it now, but it is! His new partner will one day be cheated on just like you were or she’ll know he’s already capable of it so the trust between them…well he thinks he’s winning in life right now. Let him think that. If your kids are happy that’s a good thing! It doesn’t mean they won’t come back to you. See this time as a time to do the ultimate self care! Pamper and spoil yourself and when the kids come back with stories, you smile, you nod and then go scream into a pillow in the bathroom if you need to! You’re human sweetheart and you’re hurting, but don’t ever feel like your kids don’t love you or prefer a person who’s been in their life for 5 seconds. You will always be mum.

Thank you for your kind words. I have spoken to family and friends, but sometimes I just need support from someone removed from the situation. X

I know exactly how you feel. As much as family and friends make a great support network, sometimes because you love them you can value their opinion a bit too much and hold back on how you really feel. Last thing you want is to feel like you could lose them too. Maybe? I really hope you can become the best version of yourself on the other side of all this! You say you lived together…. I say, strip the wallpaper, paint the place! Do whatever you want in whatever style you like. If he didn’t want you painting your bedroom red when you were together, go ahead and do it now. You are free to create a home that’s just for you and children. Make it fun and authentically you. And as for your ex and his new thing I hope they end up fighting in Ikea and break up 😂

Nowt like a dose of dc to dampen a new relationship.....
Take the free time to recoup your energy.. Take up a new hobby. Refreshed dm for when the dc come home...
Make some time for fun stuff with you with dc too.