Separating the kids clothes

[Baffers100]

Hi all,

After just over 2 years, I am finally waiting for the financial order and can move out, hurrah! STBXH and myself have sat down and agreed on how to divide the content of the house. He flippantly said, "I guess with the kids clothes we just do 50/50." This has annoyed me because he's bought so very little- he could have done, he earns the money he just spends it on him!

Until I said I wanted a divorce, kids clothing was totally my responsibility. It's actually always felt like they were just MY kids, not OUR kids. In the summer, the kids (we have two) didn't have any summer togs which fitted so I did a big next order and got summer clothes, sandals and replaced the outgrown school uniform. I asked STBXH for a contribution (he had just bought two pairs of running trainers at the time) and he said no. His reasoning was I hadn't consulted him before I bought them and he thinks the kids already have loads of clothes. Well, now you're expecting me to leave 50% behind so you don't have to provide for your children?

I am planning on taking what I have bought and leave a few bits and pieces (from what I have bought) behind, but not 50%. I feel bad that they won't have many clothes at their dads house, but the guy is pushing 40, why can't he go and buy them clothes FFS? Am I being unreasonable?

How old are the kids and how often does ex have them ? Mine always took clothes to their dad’s and brought them home for me to wash (they went there EOW) The older they are, the more likely they are to have favourite items so a wardrobe at each house wouldn’t work because they’d want stuff at the other house.

He won't know what you do take if he hasn't been involved in buying it. I'd let him have the stuff you don't like and definitely keep the rest for yourself. Have you pointed out to him that he didn't wish to contribute?

Our youngest is 5 next month, and eldest turns 9 in February.

We are doing 50/50 custody. They won't need to take home clothes between homes because I'm planning on one parent taking them to school monday am, the other picks them up and has then until wednesday am, drops them at school and the other picks them up if that makes sense.

I foresaw all their nice clothes from mine going walkies and them coming to me in stuff they've outgrown and thought this deals with that...and means I don't have to see him as much.

I did. He's...not pleasant. Basically said I can' leave them with no clothes here because it's not fair on the kids and how could I do that to them. 🙄

I completely understand and empathise with your frustration. Nevertheless, surely the most important thing is the kids feeling settled and comfortable in both settings, which might mean them having some of their favourite clothes there, too?

Ah, the slow dawning realisation that he is going responsible in his time for his own kids. Goodness how sad he is only just realising this

Absolutely tske anything you have paid for. Why would you not?

Yes that absolutely is important, but there is going to come a point, probably very soon, where he needs to considerably pull his socks up and actually do some parenting. I've had 14 years of married life making his life easy.