50/50 struggles

[Miss84]

Myself and my ex have a 50/50 agreement, through the courts
prior to this my son (7) lived with me for 6 years with visits to his dad alternate weekends
whilst my son struggled with the change originally I got him external help through school and now seems to have settled to it better.
I on the other hand still find it extremely difficult. We’re over a year in and I don’t really feel like a real mum anymore. The week he’s not here I miss him like crazy. The week he is I put so much pressure on myself to make everything perfect it’s not enjoyable.
Is anyone aware of any type of counselling that may help or anything along them lines please? I really feel I need help with dealing with the changes. TIA

I'd be the same OP. In fact it's why I'm not splitting up with DP right now even though I probably should. Sorry no advice but I totally get what you are saying. It is so tough.

I’m so sorry to hear you are struggling & can totally relate.
My suggestion would be to talk to your GP. They might be able to offer some help?
My GP had a mental health assistant who spoke with me once a week - it wasn’t amazing but it was something! In the end I paid privately for therapy (used BetterHelp as it’s a fixed monthly fee & matched with a wonderful therapist) - while it has been expensive I see it as investing in me & it really has been invaluable.

Definitely speak to your GP and ask for counselling. It helps to manage that anxiety and worry. I completely understand how you feel, I only did it for a short time and know in the future their dad won't give up until it's 50/50 because he doesn't want to pay CMS.

I think consider getting a hobby, possibly something out of the house. On instagram I follow Jay skibbins, a parenting coach, who says to make your life full and grow as an individual and by doing so you are then supporting your child as they get the best version of you. The way he frames it is far more eloquent and made me realise that focusing on me when I don't have the children does actually mean they get a better mum. Feel for you.

Are you saying you have him for a week then your ex has him for week?

could you change to an alternative arrangement eg you have him for 4 days and ex has him the next 4 days?