Amicable divorce - what order do we do things in?

[Jayfay]

DH and I agree on divorce, agree 50/50 custody of DD. Agree on split of assets (50/50 split of current house and cash, keep own pensions and I keep BTL from before marriage). There’s no-one else involved.

We are mortgaged up and have to live together until house sold as neither can afford to move out. He will rent after as can’t get a mortgage due to prior bankruptcy and his age. I will buy.

We want to minimise legal costs. I was going to submit initial application online myself, then ask solicitor to do financial order. I know we have to wait the 6 months after the initial order to finalise but can’t see us completing a house sale in that time.

So would you normally list house before completing financial order or afterwards? Trying to get some idea of how long we will likely live here. The house is mid renovation and needs finishing to sell, probably needs another 3-4 months work. So should we just do nothing until house ready to list? I don’t want the complication of initial application expiring.

There’s arguably no urgency, there’s nothing awful going on here, we just don’t like each other. But I’d also rather this didn’t take years.

Can anyone clarify? Most of the threads are very different with either abuse, affair partners, disagreement on finances etc so don’t relate well.

Personally, I'd get the initial application in, crack on with the renovations & get the house on the market - you can still both live there while it sells if it's that amicable, but at least you can both move out as soon as it's done.

In case it matters-he isn’t on the current mortgage or deeds because of his bankruptcy. But he has contributed (although all the deposit was mine). But I’m not quibbling that, he can have half the equity. He just won’t be able to buy as no-one will lend to him.

We both work, I earn a bit more (he earns roughly £30k, me £50k) but neither of us has sacrificed earnings or anything like that. He has no pensions as he’s a feckless idiot but he doesn’t want to come after mine either.

I think a judge might question the settlement. It is unfair to him. You don’t earn a bit more you earn 60-70% more. The asset split isn’t 50:50. The pension and btl are marital assets and he is entitled to some of that.

Before this goes to a judge your ex needs independent advice and you need to disclose the full value of your assets and income. Otherwise a judge will expect you to go away and do that.

It not unfair to him, he used to earn £200k and wasted it all, then went bankrupt. He hasn’t paid anything in to the house apart from some monthly bills. He hasn’t compromised his earnings whilst married to me and hasn’t bothered to have a pension. He isn’t primary carer for our child. He works full time and I’m slightly part time.

There’s none of the imbalance you get where one party has supported the family to their own detriment here (well apart from me really-I’m basically handing over money he really, really doesn’t deserve).

The BTL was ringfenced anyway, so is not a marital asset, otherwise the insolvency service would’ve had it. At least I had the sense to do that before marriage. As it was he didn’t have to repay any of his many creditors as he convinced them he had no claim on any of my money.

He’s getting half of the equity in the house which has all come from me, and he doesn’t dispute this-he has been very clear that isn’t interested in the pension, almost all of which was built up pre marriage anyway as I left the final salary scheme when we moved away for his latest daft venture…

Of course there will be full disclosure but he knows it all anyway as he has full access to all the files and yes a solicitor will be used to draw up the agreement. I’m not hiding anything. We haven’t been able to have any joint financial associations to stop the IS having any of it but he has full access to everything.

Pp is correct. It has to get past a judge and be based on the situation as it is now. Not who paid what, when.

If you're doing 50/50 you both need to be in a position to house your child and you have better mortgage potential than your husband (if he can even get one if he was made bankrupt).

In answer to your question, you can do the consent order proper to selling the house and be made tenants in common with the share split agreed and I think that puts one of you on the deeds with the other the shareholder.

Your pension is a joint marital asset, btw. That's what being married does - legally pools your assets.

Consent order prior to selling the house that should have said.

If it is truely amicable and straight forward with both parties wanting the best for each other and the kids, you could use a company called Amicable for the divorce. They are much cheaper than solicitors but they can help you understand what will be considered fair by a judge. They can only give advice to you both as they don’t represent one side over the other. We are using them and I think they are good.

My exH and I had a Collaborative Divorce. One of the features of this was that we only had one solicitor between us who helped with paperwork and checked all was fair (we had similar situation to you re assets and pensions etc). It cost £500 (around 5 years ago).

have a look for a solicitor that specialises in that.

The Judge needs to have assurance that his or her ruling isn’t going to be challenged and that neither party has been coerced into the agreement. If they are presented with a split that completely favours one person and the other party has not had independent legal representation they may not be willing to approve it until that happens.

A decent lawyer would tell your ex that because you have a property and a pension he is entitled to most if not all of the equity in the family home. Thats before you consider the salary disparity. The reason for the salary disparity is relevant but it doesn’t need to be because he was a SAHP.

The point is that there is a risk this would happen. A risk that is likely to happen. A risk that can be mitigated if your ex seeks his own independent advice. It’s your decision if you want to push ahead and run that risk. But asking a lawyer to draft the agreement isn’t the same as him getting independent legal advice. If there are other gaps in the process, no Form E or mediation, then it is very likely a judge will want to see evidence of fair process. That will be your ex getting legal advice.

ORDER:
I would apply asap for the first form (The £590 one you can do yourself)
Get the rennovations done in meantime.
After that first form completes there are a series of other forms and waits (1.5-6 weeks each), it's not a fast process and even slower if you involve lawyers (we found, and we tried to involve lawyers in only the most minimal way & only because we got a mesher order to protect my capital gains position, I was one who moved out).

I wouldn't list for sale before the rennovations are done. EA will say the same.

SPLIT OF ASSETS:
Since you are amicable, you could make the clearly explained case in the application that the planned asset divide puts you both back to relatively where you were before you got together; he's not worse off than if he had been on his own all this time. You both agree this is fair and that rapport you have about what is fair is helpful for your future as coparents. That argument might hold sway.

Hi
I'm getting divorced again. 2nd wife married 10 years together 14. We are both early 60s.

We both have 2 adult children, hers self dependent, mine both have a disability.

She had a good divorce settlement with a house and a pension pot of 500k overseas. We lived in UK rented up until 6 years ago paid by me. She contributed to food bill and put some money towards house most of which i gave her back when i got my lump sum pension when i retired and returned to work. She doesnt work now and has returned overseas, has her 3 bed house and pension pot which she 'doesn't want to touch'.

I earn 120k and have a pension of 40k pa still working full time. The value of my pension probably increased by 250k during the time we were together.

Our joint assets are basically a house net value 450k after mortgage paid in Uk. I have a pension fund valued around 700k.and some directors loans to another business of 120k.
I also have a recent new business venture which could make a lot of money in the future in which she has had no involvement.
She says she wants 50% of that too
I have given her an allowance equivalent to half my pension every month.

. Neither of us performed duties to allow the other to pursue their career, and she had little input into my kids care when they were with us.
Any thoughts on whether this is likely to be a 50 50 split, a back to previous situation or somewhere in between.
I think an equitable thing would be to look at where we started, take into account what we have gained or lost since getting together, and ensure both can live comfortably in retirement in our own homes. She seems to think I should work forever