The money talk …

[Theyorkmum]

Hi

you guys are always great for advice - help me out?

divorcing without solicitors

im exhausted mentally after years of stress, not sure I have the energy to fight over money so hoping to make a reasonable ask of him … what would you do in my position and am I stupid for not using a solicitor?

so first stage of divorce is in a couple of weeks (Cooling off period?) and I need to start thinking about the money side. 2 kids, we are all sharing the family home which is on the market. We earn the same, no debts, £50k savings, same pension, 50/50 equity, no other assets.

I put more cash into the family during the marriage due to house equity pre-marriage, 2 x small windfall and earnt more for the first 10 years. Also paid half his uni costs. I think none of that counts tho as it was spent during happier times and never legally documented - would that be a fair assumption?

so say we split everything 50/50 - what sort of figure do I suggest for child maintenance? 1 child will be staying with me due to relationship with dad, 1 will stay 4 nights a month at dads and some nights just for dinner but not overnight.

whatever I suggest he will not want to pay a bean so a £1 is better than nothing. Or should I just manage on my own and let him be?

I would honestly recommend you get a solicitor. Some offer a free half hour, if you wanted to just ask them this question.

I'd just do 50 50 split if you can stomach it and then leave at that. Later on file a CMS claim for maintenance so focus on assets split now

A 50/50 split plus claiming through CMS sounds like a good idea - you seem to have it all figured out all ready.

Sounds like 50 50 split is realistic and fair. But you will need to confirm with a solicitor and do some form of asset disclosure to support the agreement. CMS for child support, no point in debating it.

There isn’t a lot to debate or negotiate here.

Agree with others. Solicitors not really needed. 50:50 split but cms based on calculator

the fact you put more in is not counted

I put more deposit in, had small inheritance which paid off a bit of capital, had redundancy that also paid off small part of mortgage. Solicitors quite clear because we earned similar it would be 50:50. In the end we simply agreed that and didn’t waste money trying to argue.

There are online child maintenance calculators that will work out the CMS figure for you.

I have a lovely friend who got rid of her deadbeat ex. She had put so much more in to the house financially, both in terms of deposit (had sold a flat) and paying the mortgage when they were together (his employment was v patchy). It was 50:50 for them too in terms of the financial settlement (ha, he actually asked for more as he was older so argued his mortgage term on new property would be shorter but the judge told him to get lost).

CMS sounds a good shout when settled, sorry that he sounds a tight sod that doesn’t want to support his kids. Good luck!