High earner next move

[Runningoutoftime99]

Hi I’m getting a divorce / I’m a high earner traveling with job kids in their 20s. Husband /ex earns just over min wage working full time . Iv just been offered a new contract abroad earning a lot. Divorce is still mid way thru financial settlement . Do I decline contract and get another one after settlement or thru or take it knowing I’ll lose half ? His Sol has told him I will need to pay spousal maintainance so I can’t bear working hard and losing it !!!

@peachcob Be fair, a lot of people here are telling porkies! There was another poster on here talking about how her ex-husband agreed with her she shouldn't have to claim benefits and paid her spousal maintenance, then in the next thread claimed he was a dick who she had to fight for it.

@Runningoutoftime99 Whatever your circumstances, if your children are adults, you don't want to pay someone spousal maintenance because their financial situation is due to their own bad choices rather than sacrifices to your benefit and you plan to work abroad then there is a solution for that.

Sell up and move to a non-REMO country (UAE, Costa Rica, Japan etc). He won't be able to enforce an English court order there (although the UAE has become shaky in the past couple of years).

Thanks - not exactly porkies just trying to find answers for friend ! But didt want to say asking for a friend !!!!

@peachcob sorry I’m not lying I’m just now asking for my friend ! She doesn’t have mumsnet and so far has not had time to go to solicitor . 😣

If genuine then get a new solicitor. If your children are adults then he is not taking care of them and although he might need more of the shared assets but then a clean break would be the norm.

I was a low income partner with a child who was likely to be dependent for a few years at least (although nearly 18) and I was advised that spousal maintenance was unlikely - we used pension share and other assets to make my future financially viable.

So no internet?? Mumsnet isn't a stand in for legal advice. She can get free legal advice appointments for around 30-60 minutes with a number of solicitors.

I don't think the kids will be classed as dependants past 18- they'll probably be expected to pay their own way. Spousal maintenance won't be paid to him just because you earn more. If when you split he has enough to provide for his housing needs (which give your kids are adults won't be a big 4 bed detached house) then you won't be expected to cover his lazy arse.
Also is his income at the top threshold of what he could earn, or could he, if he applied himself earn more? People are expected to try and maximise their earning potential so him coasting won't necessarily help.

Courts also don't like spousal maintenance arrangements as it prevents a clean financial break. I bet your STBXH has an aggressive solicitor who likes to throw this stuff around to scare and pressure you. My STBXHs solicitor liked to keep banging on about a mescher charge- I thought, that would make him primary carer which is a laugh, because in 9 years of our eldest life I can count on one hand the number of times he's done bedtime. Primary carer? Haha

It's definitely true that most bad outcomes in divorce are because someone allows themselves to get bullied by their ex's solicitor. Spousal maintenance is rarely a fair outcome these days and Mesher Orders are normally bad for both people so courts don't tend to impose them on people earning "normal" salaries these days. They tend to crop up more often than not in consent orders and my advice for people who don't want spousal maintenance or a Mesher Order (unless they are earning in excess of £100k net) is to just say no.

Spousal orders are VANISHINGLY rare, usually there is HUGE disparity between the two parties, usually involve children and a spouse who's given up their career to support the other, and are fixed term.