Divorcing a man with MH problems

[BlindedByTheFights]

Me and my H are splitting. Well I'm trying to and he's refusing to engage.

He's been abusive in past, isn't paying hardly any money, and there is no love there. His mental health is poor - I have really tried to support him but he refuses help. He has diagnosis of OCD and I have called GP when I've been really worried.

It might all be OK but he can be v paranoid. He has tics and talks to himself a lot.

He is actually good with DC most of the time. He does try hard and he does love them.

However when he'd stressed he can be v unpredictable and has scared them in the past

I just want to know how to protect my kids. If he goes for 5050 but he seems v unwell/angry and isn't keeping them looked after or I worry something might happen ro them - if I withhold contact will it look like parental alienation?

I don't think I can leave until I know they're not at risk. They're v young and would be unable to call me or explain clearly what is happening.

Is he able to care for them properly at this time? All the time, consistently? If not then 50:50 isn’t appropriate and unlikely to be awarded.

based on his health issues will he push for it? And if so what steps will he take to ensure his mh problems are controlled

@millymollymoomoo thank you for your reply.

Yes he is able to look after them. But he's not well.

An example is last night at 2am he woke up and started talking to himself loudly next to me saying "I hate myself" and things that were hard to decipher. I tried to comfort him but he strode around the house for about an hour in the middle of the night talking to himself.

But this morning he's woken up and is making them breakfast and watching cartoons with them

So yes he does look after them but I know his head is a v dark place at times

My concern is under stress and pressure I've seem that rage and darkness be displayed in frotn of the kids. Calling me a cunt. A bitch. Telling me life is a fucking joke in frotn of them. But that's only been when I have said to him I'm unhappy or encouraged him to get help at some point and he's exploded in rage for a week.

So he's fine with them right now. He has a full time job. But I worry what divorce will do to him and that I'll be powerless to prevent harm. He could have a full blown psychotic breakdown (he can lean into conspiracy theories and paranoid thoughts already) and how can I stop him having the kids if that happens? Surely courts etc are too slow and too obsessed with contact with both parents? He will want as much contact as poss. Those kids are the only thing he's happy about in his life

What do you think @millymollymoomoo if I refused to hand kids over to him as he seemed unstable - would that be justified and understood by family courts?