Housing or Custody first?

[StElse]

I am in a position separating from partner, not married, 3 kids, where I think we will need court orders for

1. House sale and
2. Custody

What I don't know is: which do you do first?

I understand a judge considers:

1. Child custody / residency arrangement to inform a request to sell
2. Housing situation to consider custody arrangement

So which do you arrange first?

1. I don't want to be have an order of sale dismissed by not having my custody arrangements in order.
2. I don't want to have a custody request dismissed by not having my housing arrangements in order.

We are currently:

1. Both living in the home
2. Could both afford a new suitable home near school, with sale proceeds
3. 2 after school days with dad while I work, other 5 days he considers himself 'off duty'
4. He will request 5050, I will request term time residency with me
5. Handful of DV incidents, never reported and no formal agency engagement with the family
6. Reason for older of sale is he cannot buy me out and refuses to sell

What is advisable to secure first please? Housing or custody?

Thanks in advance.

Custody than housing. You cannot know your respective housing needs until it is clear where the children will be living.

Thank you Shona. And they wouldn't expect housing situations sorted in order to consider the decision?

No, they would understand that this wasn't possible until childcare matters had been settled.

If you are not married, is not 50:50 on sale of house regardless of housing needs?
(Assuming you are both on the deeds/mortgage as JT)
If so, get on with selling the house and get a child arrangements order sorted, with mediation first.

Thanks Marmight, we are tenants in common with me taking a lower % (I am content with that, I contributed less)

But not sure if Order of Sale would inform custody, or custody would inform whether to order the sale.

Custody 100%.

Legal costs can be extortionate and you may run out of money so consider what is most important to get right. Custody arrangements can heavily affect finances and job opportunities so this would be what I'd focus on first.

Are my custody outcomes not better if I've got my housing sorted? Or would a judge deem that they're reasonably sort-able with enough financial evidence?

Why is he refusing to sell? It could cost you both £££. I assume the equity is significant
Just get going with both.
Why is 50:50 not appropriate? That's normally the starting point.
An alternative approach is to shrug your shoulders, agree and share that you are looking forward to all the free time to go and do what you want to do without the kids. He might change his mind sharpish.
Sometimes arseholes dig their heels in to try and control the situation. But when you no longer react, they lose the power.

That's a really level way to look at it, thank you. It really helps to have that perspective.

He's refusing to sell as he wants to wait until he's making enough money to buy me out, but there is no time scale on that and will be a matter of years not months. It's not a reasonable way to live.

So custody and then housing?
I just feel like having my housing sorted surely looks better for securing custody?

If he is refusing to sell then you need to start action to force the sale. At the same time you can start to agree a child arrangement order.

Are you intending to move out before it is sold? If you can’t or aren’t going to move until a sale, it’s hypothetical how both of you are housed.

If you both can’t live together a court will give you an occupancy order to the resident parent until it is sold.

Do you mean in terms of forcing a sale? In a marriage custody can effect the percentage each gets in the separation, but this doesn't apply in your situation. Child arrangements (not custody anymore) are more important especially if it's not an amicable split. Settle those first. I think it would be unusual if not married for child arrangements to stop the sale of the house from happening.

Lemon, thissss Are you intending to move out before it is sold? If you can’t or aren’t going to move until a sale, it’s hypothetical how both of you are housed. Is exactly what I'm getting at, thank you.

Yes, basically I can't demonstrate to a judge how I will be housed, until the house is sold. Neither of us can afford to live elsewhere until it's sold. Hence not sure whether to pursue child arrangements, before that is sorted and in place.

Ok, so that's not seen as 'leaving it to chance' or something that will inform child arrangements?

In which case both of you are in the same boat. Unless one of you gets an occupancy order and the other moves out. You could see a lawyer about this and start to build a case. Before he does.

Build a case for an order of sale do you mean? Ok.
I would rather build a case for going straight to sale and save any fees from occupancy order I think.